now that august is almost done...

first off, we finally heard from our photographer about our wedding pictures. she wasn't going to tell us anything, but because i have family asking for pictures, i finally asked her if she was done with them. well, she said that she isn't going to work on them until she gets paid in full. um, last time i checked, you had to complete a job before getting paid.... hmmm. anyway, she then proceeded to change the contract which we were originally under. now she wants more money and gave us our pictures, but they are on a cd with a password. no idea if she actually saved to the correct format. (our engagement pictures were in the wrong format so we couldn't print them....thankfully zach is a computer wiz so he reformatted and we got our engagement pictures) well, he hasn't quite been able to break the password, so we have no idea if our wedding pictures are even worth spending money on. i have the money, but i can't access it right now since zach & i are really really poor. and we aren't even sure if we want to pay because we don't know what we are paying for.
she is throwing a big hissy fit, and for those of you looking for a photographer, i do not recommend this girl. i might later, but i promise you will want a written contract that both of you sign and date and have copies of. otherwise, i guarantee she will change the contract and try to blame you for it. and if she is grown up enough to be reading this, i do apologize to her. i am sorry things had to end up like this. i should have known better and just hired someone else.
so if anyone reading this has any wedding pictures from zach & my wedding, we would sure appreciate it if you could email them or facebook them or something else.
i interviewed with a spa last monday. i haven't heard anything since. i know i can't actually get hired until i am licensed. i am still waiting on that... it is hard to believe that it really takes that long to get back to people about a test day. i think if i can get a hands-on interview with the spa, they will realize how valuable i am. i have to laugh at myself because i was debating about wearing a skirt or dress pants to the interview. in the end i wore pin stripe dress pants, blue tank top, and white button up shirt. boy oh boy i am glad i chose dress pants.... the interview was on the floor in the yoga room. we sat on the floor in the yoga room. it was kinda cool, but very different. i do not think it would have gone so well if i had worn a skirt.
i had a really neat opportunity on saturday. one of my friends from massage class called me with a volunteer proposition. he knew some people having a fun run that wanted massage therapists at the end for the runners/walkers. he called me up to see if i would like to come be one of the therapists. it was a local job and sounded like fun so i agreed.
they had wipes for our tables, hand sanitizer, papertowels, garbage can, canopy, and even business card holders all set up for us. i just had to bring myself and my table. i didn't keep track of how many people i worked on, but we were only there for about 2 and a half hours. we did an estimate 5-10 minute massage. (both of us forgot to bring a clock) at the end though, they had a little gift bag for me. inside was a really cool tee shirt with the company name and fun run on it, xbalm chapstick, 10 day passes to the gym, women's vitamins, orange julius coupons, a gas card, and a thank you note. i was surprised they gave me a bag. it was really cool. but the neatest thing was at the very end after everyone was gone and we were cleaning up.
the lady in charge is a doctor. we offered to work on her. my friend had the doctor get on his table, and i had the opportunity to work on my friend's mom. we worked for maybe a half hour or so. (as mentioned before, we had no clock) but we were all kinda talking about the response of having massage therapists there at the fun run. i guess there was one lady who just went on and on and on about my work.
this doctor was impressed and said that we needed to come to the office and work on people. she said if she could get enough support that there might be a possibility of the company purchasing chairs for us and we can come either work the chair off, or get a percentage. either way, i hope that something comes of it. i really would be excited to have the opportunity to have a company purchase a massage chair for me and let me work it off or pay it back or take a percentage.
the only downside is, i didn't have business cards to hand out. so i am relying on my friend to remember me and hopefully include me if something does happen. ok the reason i don't have business cards yet is because i haven't ordered any. the school was also supposed to get us business cards before graduation, but that didn't happen. i got a call last week saying i could come pick them up at the school, but i asked if they could mail them to me instead so i don't have to drive to salt lake. well, the school just called me. they didn't update my address. my cards got sent back to the school. i am wondering if maybe that's why i haven't heard anything about my test. the school can't get things together on the paperwork or communication. GRRR! whatever.
hmm...what else....oh, so yesterday in sunday school we had one kid who was really disruptive and down right rude. it was getting on both zach & my nerves. we were both trying so hard to be nice and polite and keep things under control. as soon as the bells rang, this kid went out of the classroom and held the door shut with his foot and body. nobody could get through. zach tried to knock him a few times, but the kid had got another buddy to come help hold the door. finally he let his foot go and we were able to open the door. my guess as why he let the door go, his mom was coming down the hall and a member of the bishopric came out of the door right next to our classroom. i don't know why, but that kid holding the door really really really made me mad. i wanted to smack him aside his head and grab him by the ear and march him over to his mother and tell her what he had just done. i didn't do that. instead i took a deep breath and went back inside the classroom to finish cleaning up. i wanted to cry. i knew i had to let it go, but i really didn't want to. zach came back in and said that the member of the bishopric asked what happened and zach told him. he said it would be taken care of. i went into sacrament meeting still rather angry and on the verge of tears. when we started singing the opening song, i knew that i had to let the anger go or i shouldn't take the sacrament. the words of the hymn calmed my heart and mind & even though i was still not happy with what had happened, i knew it would be ok. something will change, even if it is just my heart. i don't know what else came of this or will come of it, but i know that next week if this kid acts up again, i will find his mother and have her come in the class with us or have him go to sunday school with his mom. zach says he wants to take the kid to an empty classroom and have just the two of them sit in silence until the bell rings. somehow i don't think that would go over so well considering i got chewed out for having a room full of teenagers and just me. hopefully we can figure something out. and now i am going to leave things here. i really will post pictures sometime. of our wedding(maybe) and of our apartment. i know you have all been waiting. so be patient with me. i am doing the best i can...

life is always going to be crazy

i'm all graduated now. HOORAY!! i have been waiting and waiting for the email to come telling me when i can go take my exams. i swear it may never come..... but whatever i guess. all good things will eventually come to those who are patient right?...
so let's see what all has been going on lately...
my job has been getting a bit harder. thankfully i know that i won't have to be there too much longer. i'll actually get to work a career that i love doing.
um, i still really hate drama. i don't understand why people can't just grow up and accept the responsibility instead of blaming everyone else. then they bring in other drama and i have a major headache and i just want to bawl my eyes and heart out right now.
i really am trying hard to stay positive about life, but i am really struggling. just when i think something may finally start looking good, something else comes in and i spend most of my days feeling so down and depressed. now don't get me wrong, i'm ok. or at least i think i am. i know a good portion of my problem is that i am too focused on just myself. i have now been out of school for 2 weeks and i took a few days off work. what did i do in those few days? slept almost the entire days. and when i wasn't sleeping, i was in a bad mood and wanted to just be left alone, but also felt like i was starved for attention. i don't know how to explain it. poor zach has been so patient and i have been extremely moody.
i have a wonderful husband who loves me and wants me to be happy so he does what he can do. and then here i am; moody, whinny, and angry. i feel like i just want to go out for a run, but then i'm so tired all the time and don't want to do anything, but my brain is going crazy for something to do if i just sit and do nothing. we are newly weds so of course we have no money, so we can't really go out and do anything. the only game we have for 2 people is scrabble. zach has now started creaming me, so it's not quite as fun and i can't think of words because i usually always have a headache. we have gone out a few times on walks, and that is always nice when our schedules can agree. but it is kind of rare that our schedules actually will let us have time together.
i know i could be better at praying, reading my scriptures, doing service. maybe that is really all i need. a vacation from myself, from my thoughts and moods.
i made banana bread again. zach likes it, but it isn't as good as the oops one with frozen eggs. This time it came out a bit more moist and it crumbles when you cut it. I am not sure what the difference between the two was, well other than the first time the eggs were frozen solid.... zach says it still tastes really good. he had the last one gone in 2 days. we'll see how long he gets through this one.
i also made chocolate chip cookies for the sunday school boys we are in charge of teaching. zach and i told them we would maybe bring treats if they bring their scriptures and participate in the lessons. the cookies turned out really well, but were almost too moist and so they crumbled too. i am just not sure what the problem is. anyway, the cookies were still a hit and i think they will all have scriptures next week. we shall see... i'm only taking oreos from the store...not homemade.
oh, so i guess i've been in a singles' ward too long.... zach had to work this past sunday. i had to teach by myself. apparently this has changed in the church. i had no idea, and i've never taught before. but i kinda got chewed out by one of the young women teachers for being the only adult teaching. i guess because things have happened there are always supposed to be two adult teachers now for each class every week. once again, i have been in a singles' ward... and zach and i had only been in this new ward for 2 weeks when we were called as sunday school teachers. no one told us anything. they just said "here's the manual. good luck."
so i am not sure what to do since zach is still scheduled for some sundays. i think the one young women leader got her husband to come in cause i ended up having some brother sneek in right before we said the opening prayer. i have no idea who he is. we have only been in the ward 4 weeks and don't know anyone. they stuck us with the youth. i know 2 people's names that welcomed me the very first week in relief society; norma & marge. and i know the bishop and the ward mission leader. i am still learning the kids' names we teach. zach still has no clue as to who is who. we don't even get a roll to read names off of. the way our ward does roll is to write your own name on a paper on the clipboard. so alas, life is crazy and is always going to be.

comings and goings

first off, i am now all done with classes. i still have one more clinic shift tomorrow morning, but i am all done with massage school. i passed all of my classes with mostly A's. my graduation is on August 6, 2010. i am totally excited! it was actually a bit harder to say goodbye to some of my classmates last night than i thought it would be. i really will miss quite a few of them, not all, but more than i had expected. they are good people and it was an experience going through this past year with them.
married life is still good. zach & i are learning more of each other's quirks. i think i need to have more patience though. he is so wonderful to me and i get tired and cranky more than he deserves. hopefully the tired part will be at more of an end now that i'll be home before midnight most, if not all, nights. today i slept until 11am. i took work off since i still have a few vacation hours that i needed to use before next week. originally i was supposed to use those vacation hours for a honeymoon, but that didn't work out. now i am just hoping to get a honeymoon. zach knows that he will have to work on black friday, so we aren't sure if we'll be able to honeymoon for thanksgiving after all. maybe christmas?
i've really enjoyed taking a few days off work, mostly for finals and just a few random ones here and there to use my vacation hours up. i was able to make dinner twice and i also made banana bread. the banana bread was quite an adventure. our fridge leaks and as a result, our eggs froze. i had to improvise. i peeled the shells from the eggs and ran a bit of hot water over them. i ended up just beating them into the mix. i also added vanilla extract, cream cheese, cinnamon, and a bit of milk to the recipe. it turned out really well. zach ate almost the whole loaf.
zach & i have been in our newly wed/nearly dead ward for a grand total of 3 weeks now. we have 2 callings. we are ward missionaries and the sunday school teachers for the 11-13/14 year olds. last sunday was our first time teaching them. we had 5 boys show up. zach did really well teaching. this week is my turn and i am scared to death. i've never taught. i don't like to be in front of people. and now, we get to teach the youth and the new members. wish us luck.
i still don't have pictures yet. i am not sure when i'll actually get them. but i promise i will post them. zach took the jeep to work, so i don't have my camera to take pictures of our apartment. i'll take some and post them sometime soon too. i should have a fair amount more free time now, but i still need to continue studying. nationals exam will be coming hopefully sooner rather than later. i got registered, but i still have to wait for the process and then get my email with the phone number & a password to call so i can schedule when i take the nationals exam.
on an exciting note, i may have a massage job lined up here in ogden at a day spa for women. i just need my career service person to send me the information so i can send my resume in and hopefully all will go well. i know that starting out it is only an 18 hr a week job, but it has the potential to increase. i'll keep you all posted as i find out what the future will unfold. for now i will continue to work at macey's and have somewhat of that financial security. and that is all i have to post now. until next blog....

a whole month flew past

I is a married woman!!! Zach and I were sealed for time and all eternity on June 26, 2010 in the St. George Temple. I have the greatest husband in all the world. We got all moved in to our apartment, and got all the boxes put away, and all the pictures hung, and we have a home together!

i suppose i should let you all know the comings and goings of the past month of june. well, to be honest, it flew past. i'll write what i remember, but most of it is just wedding and such. i'll get pictures posted when i get pictures.

on june 19th, i was able to go to the temple and do my endowment. it was such an incredible experience. not at all what i was thinking it would be, but looking back, i'm not really sure what it was that i did expect. all i know is this; it was absolutely amazing and i was so happy to have all of my family there. (es, we will all be there when you go through so it really will be ALL of us)

i know that i am excited to go back again and again. the peace, joy, and love i felt in the temple is none like i've ever remembered having so strong. i knew that this is where i am supposed to be in life, and that things will always work out. life is hard, but it is also worth it.

i do have a lot of questions about the temple, but i know that as i go back often, i'll always learn. zach has been really good to help me with the simpler questions that can be answered outside the holy temple. and we are making plans to go do sessions in ogden as soon as our schedules will work with each other.

june 19th was also zach & my as well as adam & cedar's open house in blackfoot. i can't believe my little brother is now a grown married man. actually, i can believe it, i just am so proud of him. chris came up with the decorations design and it looked absolutely amazing! it was a perfect blend of adam & cedar's western theme meets zach & my asain theme. the epitome of my mom & dad, western cowboy meets chinese woman and make a family.

i did wear my dress, and it was the first time zach actually saw me in my dress...yes i know it is supposed bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before they are married. anyway,

i spent a fair amount of money on that dress, and i'll wear it if i want to! ha ha!

i'll never forget zach's face when he saw me all dressed in my fabulous wedding dress and my hair & makeup all done pretty (thanks mo!) he couldn't take his eyes off me :) and it actually reminded me of that morning in the temple when i finally found him in the men's section. he looked so handsome and happy and then when he was all sharp in his tux he also looked very handsome and happy. i love my husband! :)

adam & cedar's canopy zach & my canopy my husband & me (although at this point we weren't actually married yet...)

i'll post more pictures of the actual wedding and some of my bridals when i get them. i am going to side track for a second here and just thank everyone for being so supportive and helpful and for all that you have done for zach & me :)

our wedding ceremony was incredible. the spirit was so strong and i know that zach & i are sealed together for eternity! i've only seen zach cry once while we were dating. it wasn't a happy day. but when i saw him tearing up in the temple, i lost it and tears came streaming down my face too. this was a very happy day!

i am so thankful that my family and my new family had such a great turn out. families are wonderful! i was shocked to see my aunt trina & uncle steve in the temple. i have to laugh because i saw this tiny black haired woman sneak in and i thought, "who in zach's family has black hair?! no one!! so who is.....my aunt, and my uncle!" they drove from L.A. the night before and were able to be there for my wedding. sadly they had to leave right after the ceremony, but i was so thankful to have them there!

i also had to chuckle because the sealer called zach "john" and it caught my family off guard. they told me later that they were thinking, "who is john and why isn't she reacting to zach being called the wrong name. are we in the right temple?"

for those of you who might be scratching your head at this, zach is actually john zacharius.

i also had to chuckle because when the sealer did call zach "zacharius" he pronounced it za cha rius. instead of zach a rius. it was funny. more so even because he was practicing with us a few minutes before we actually went into the sealing room. ah, what a great day it all was!!

and married life is good! i have really enjoyed not kicking zach out before i go to sleep at night. i also really enjoy waking up and having his arms around me. i really do have the greatest husband in the whole world. and from here on out, i'll record our adventures together :)

engagement pictures

life has been utterly crazy. between work, school, and now wedding plans, i barely even have time to see my sweet zach. i feel completely exhausted all the time and as a result i have not been so even tempered. it is taking its toll. i wish i could say that all i need is a good night sleep, but that doesn't come so easily. welcome to life.

on a much brighter side.... i have 9 weeks of school left. my boss should be coming back from recovering from having a baby in 2 weeks. and most importantly..... Zach and I will be sealed for time and all of eternity in 4 weeks!!!!

i am so very lucky to have such a wonderful man as zach. i ask him often if he really wants to marry me. if he is really sure about this. i don't deserve him. and he has chosen me :) and i choose him too! i can't understand it, but he loves me. and i am so grateful to be a part of his eternal family.

on a funny side of things.... i really need my hearing checked and brain for that matter... here is why:

zach and i were driving back from church this past sunday. he had not been feeling very well and his tonsils have been really swollen with white spots. zach asked me a question. i didn't quite understand what he had asked so i didn't answer. he then made a statement to which i replied, "i don't know what the johnsons do. i think he is a clerk or something."

zach started laughing. when i inquired as to why he was laughing at me he said, "i didn't ask what the johnsons do. i asked what do tonsils do. and brother johnson is in the bishopric sweetheart."

i swear that when i am old and have lost even more brain cells that zach is going to have to remind me to put real clothes on (not pjs) before i leave the house. and probably he will have to remind me to put socks and shoes on too. my brain is so shot its a wonder that i still manage to pass my classes. and i'm not even that old yet.

i do hit a mile marker this year.... a quarter of a century... yikes ;) anyway i have much things to get done so i'll post some pictures and get going. try to update as i can... no promises :)

and now march is almost gone too...

well things have been much better at my new place. i have to laugh because my roommate was talking to a friend of hers and she stated that she doesn't think i eat because there is no food of mine that she can find. i haven't been grocery shopping since i moved, and all of my not perishable food is still packed. i hardly ever see her and she asked me if i even sleep. my answer was yes i try between the hours of 12am and 4am, sometimes 3am.
um, i passed all my classes last quarter. we are now 2 weeks into the 4th quarter. i still have one more quarter after this. don't ask how they got 5 to be called quarters of 10 weeks... anyway, i have this quarter plus next and then i am all done with school!!
and now i know you have all been waiting for the details of how zach proposed. perhaps i should first just state that... I AM ENGAGED!!!!
zach, lis, lis roommate, and i went to moab the weekend of the 19th. lis was running the half marathon. we went as a mini vacation to support her. tradition with this race is that the night before we (this time only lis) run the race, we go out to dinner. well, i was a bit tired and the drive down was slightly boring for me since all i do is drive nowadays. i admit i was a tiny bit cranky when we got down to moab. we quickly got camp set up and went to dinner at zaks. the wait would have been an hour and a half, but we chose to sit at the bar so we could eat and get some kind of sleep friday night.
dinner was delicious. but somehow i still wasn't feeling quite like my self. i am not sure why exactly, but i think that it had something to do with a stupid monthly friend that could have been coming for an early visit. but thats life, so i was just trying to manage.
at one point in dinner, lis & her roommate went to use the restroom. zach turned to me and said, "i see something shiny in your future..." i said, "oh yeah?" thinking that he was maybe he had my ring... then he said, "probably not this weekend." and my heart dropped. i admit i was kinda pissed off by that. it had confirmed my theory that he didn't have my ring and wasn't going to propose in moab as we had once talked about doing.
moab was freezing for some reason....at least after the sun went down. i don't recall it ever being that cold before in the previous years we have been to this same race. we decided that we wanted a campfire. well, me being the fire queen... ha ha... set to work getting a fire going the moment we got back from dinner. i felt like a complete idiot. the wood wouldn't burn. it was still rather wet inside and i was getting angry and frustrated. zach got down and was kneeling by the fire trying to be my bellows while i kept my attempts at lighting the fire. i went back and forth from the fire to my jeep to see what i had in there that would burn as well as be kindling. during this whole time i was just getting extremely frustrated and angry that i couldn't get this fire going, and it was cold, and my hands were starting to hurt a bit from trying to hold my lighter down long enough for something to maybe start burning for a second. zach continued to be my bellows. just when i was about to give up and go ask our neighbors for some of their lighter fluid or something, zach said just one word. "amber."
everything that was rushing through my head abruptly stopped at hearing my name come from his lips. i stopped and looked at him. zach was kneeling on one knee with something that looked to be a box in his hands. i couldn't believe it. i hugged his head and let out a small 'you've got to be kidding me' laugh. then let go so he could finish what he had to say.
"amber, will you marry me?"
tears came to my eyes as i could barely whisper, "of course i will.... yes. yes i will marry you."
then more tears came streaming down my face as zach pulled me tight in his arms and i realized how much i truly love this amazing, wonderful, almost perfect (ish) man.
then zach spoke again, "don't you want to put your ring on?"
i had almost forgotten that i was supposed to be getting my ring with a proposal. zach slipped it on my finger and it fit perfect. (thanks to me realizing a few months ago that we have the same ring size)
we spent the next little bit kissing, and hugging, and me crying a bit more and then we realized that lis and her roommate weren't at our campsite anymore. they had gone over to our neighbors' blazing fire to 'give us some alone time' and to get warm. at this point we all decided that it probably would be a good idea to try and go to bed. i am not sure how i actually got to sleep because i was so giddy and happy and just wanted to yell at the top of my lungs that i love zach and we are going to be married!
anyway, we all were able to get some sleep and lis did absolutely amazing on her race! i credit part to the pre-event sports massage i gave her before the race. but all of the work really came from lis. she has spent the last few months almost entirely at the gym. lis you are my hero!! i wish i could have ran the race too, but i would have slowed you down until i made you go on and just leave me to make your time. on that note....i am totally stoked that i actually got to see you come in to the finish line this time!
ok, so you all want back to zach & me now..... so here is what we know so far...

we are getting married.

we are getting married in the st. george temple.

we are getting married in the st. george temple on june 26, 2010.

we are getting married in the st. george temple on june 26, 2010 at 8:30 in the morning.

i have my dress and love it because it is perfect! i love my ring because zach listened to what i liked and the symbolism behind it....and he picked it out and i love it!

our colors are; mild evergreen, tidal basin, and quite red.

we love each other with all that can be and we are going to be married for time and all eternity!

my married name will be: Mrs. John Zacharius Smith aka Amber Jean Smith.

and that is what we know. i have to run now because i should be doing some homework.... but i wanted to post because i know you have all been waiting and waiting. sorry i have a very busy schedule right now. i really do try and make time to update everyone. okie dokie. i'll be back sometime. hopefully sooner rather than later.

february has come and is almost gone....

holy cow a whole month has gone by since i've blogged. time is just going crazy and too darn fast. i haven't even been able to get online for more than maybe 5 or 10 minutes here and there. anyway, i am still alive for the most part. actually i am doing pretty well. a lot has been happening this month.
first off, i am moving this coming saturday to west haven. i got a new roommate in january, and she refuses to keep clean and stop using my stuff without replacing it. she told my landlords that i am being mean and that she feels like she has no space here. they emailed me and asked what was going on. i told them that she had broken my vacuum belt and refused to buy a new one stating that she didn't break it. i also told them that i had asked her to clean up her messes and to stop using my stuff and that she also refused. what she failed to tell them is that she told me she was going to throw out all of my stuff. my landlords said that they hoped we had the situation worked out because if someone had to move because of the other person, the other person would be charged for the entire apartment. side note- they raised the rent for the place... not for me, but for anyone who moves in now.
well, things didn't get worked out. instead my roommate started showing her true colors and behaving like a spoiled brat. the apartment reeks and i can barely breath outside of my bedroom. i packed everything up that i could and have slowly been moving into a friend's cousin's townhouse. she has a brand new townhouse and is tired of living alone. she is going to charge me what i pay now. and i get my own room, and bathroom. it will be so wonderful.
school is more than halfway done. i graduate in august as long as i pass all of my classes. so far i have done really well in all of them. we have 3 more weeks left in this quarter and then 2 more quarters after this one. i can't wait to be done.
yesterday i had a much needed girls day out with lis. we went looking at dresses. and then i helped lis take engagement pictures for a friends of ours. then lis took me to dinner as sort of payment for helping her move, borrow my furniture, and help with pictures. i told her she didn't need to worry about any of it, but she insisted. then lis had to leave because she was going to aida with mom and dad arrington. zach got off work by the time we were done, so it worked out quite nicely. he and i then moved a bunch more of my stuff. and then we had dinner and watched episodes of scrubs.
oh, i start clinicals this saturday. i got the saturday morning shift. so if anyone is interested, i can't guarantee that i will be your therapist, but i work the saturday morning shift. the hours of clinic are saturday & sunday 8am to 5pm. i hear that saturdays are busier than sundays so there is a much longer waiting list on saturday. get in quick.
i can't really think of much else going on right now. work is work. they are cutting hours but increasing the work load. we got a new store director and he is changing everything. he makes you feel like all the work you have done so far has been crap and completely wrong. we shall see what happens in the future. hopefully i won't be there too much longer. i am hoping to have a career by the end of the year. i am thinking either a spa, clinical office, or a combination of the two. i know eventually i will open my own practice, but i will have to work up to it first. get some experience. i think i will have plenty of clients (if the economy starts going up) then they can afford to have actual relief from pain, and awareness to fix their own bodies. well, i am going to end here for now. i will try to not be such a stranger, but no promises because it is only going to get busier until i am done with school at least. but perhaps i will have other plans going on either before school ends or maybe after school ends. we shall see.