remind me why i am the rude neighbor

well i did get a new calling. i am now the 2nd counselor in the young women presidency. lucky me. there aren't that many youth in our ward, so it shouldn't be too hard to get to know them. i sort of know 2 already because they were in my sunday school class. i can't remember names though. i need to work on that. i am nervous and excited and wondering how i can possibly be a leader/example to this young women. i don't think they like me yet. i say this because i had my first activity last wednesday and no one wanted to ride in my jeep with me down to salt lake. we went to the joseph smith movie and also kinda toured the conference center. the new president had to tell one of the girls that she had to ride with me because there was just no room in the other cars. only 1 girl came with me. hopefully it will get better.
i am excited that next week is thanksgiving. i really am hoping the weather stays good so we can go down to la verkin. i miss my family. i need my family. things are not quite what i was thinking my married life would be. most of it is me in my own head that i can't get away from and just get over myself. my poor husband. and oh how i love him.
i really just have to vent now because i was so mad yesterday evening. i got home from work just before 2pm. i took rei rei out for a walk. we were gone for about 2 hours. we came back and she got a bath. then i showered cause i had a client at 6pm. well, it didn't take quite as long to give rei rei a bath and i don't really like super long showers so i was all ready by 5:15 ish. i didn't have to leave for another 15 minutes. i decided to start playing the piano a bit since i haven't really been able to. not even 10 minutes later there is a knock on my door.
it is the manager. she got a call from our neighbor that i was pounding on the piano and that my dog was barking. i told her that i was playing up until she knocked on the door. she didn't hear it. and rei rei doesn't bark unless someone is outside our door and raising his/her voice. i was here with rei rei and she wasn't barking at all. the manager said that the complaint about barking was actually friday night. we were home then too and she was not barking.
i talked with the manager and she actually apologized to me about the complaint. she says that everyone else says we are polite and respectful and have no complaints against us or our dog. it is just the black lady upstairs and her husband. technically the manager can't tell us who complained, but i asked if it came from upstairs and she said yes. i then asked the manager if she could find out when a good time for me to play that i won't have pounding on the floor from upstairs. she said she will talk to them again and find out.
i also said that if complaints were going to be made that we had some as well about the upstairs people. every morning i wake up at 3 and 4 am because they are stomping around. not just walking on old floors, they are stomping. it wakes rei rei up. it wakes me up. and it wakes zach up. every morning. there was in fact one morning at 3 am that i woke to her screaming. i just about called the cops. in fact, i really wish now that i would have.
if i can't play my piano at 3 and 4 pm then they shouldn't be allowed to stomp and turn the tv up loud at 3 and 4 am. bottom line. i can't figure out why she hates us. we didn't do a dang thing to her. she has just had it in for us. oh, she will be nice to our faces, if it is only me that she sees. if she sees me with my dog, she is rude. if she sees zach, she is rude. if she sees us all together, she is rude. now remind me how i am the rude and bad neighbor?
so today i got off work a bit early and was home about 12:30 pm. i started playing my piano. 2 minutes later i hear the tv upstairs blaring down into my apartment. i keep playing. she turned it louder. i stopped playing about 2pm and took rei rei out for a walk. we got home about 4pm. and now it is 4:22 pm and she is stomping around upstairs. if i were to start playing the piano.... i bet you $100.00 that she will call the manager and start pounding on the floor and turn her tv up. i am half tempted to go upstairs and confront her face to face, but she is just going to get loud and then "that dog will attack me" is her claim.
rei rei doesn't like her. the reason being that she was yelling at zach one day about parking. rei rei won't take to anyone attacking her family. she is a guard dog. extremely protective of her family. it is in the boxer blood and in the labrador blood. the neighbor was yelling at zach and rei rei saw it as an attack. now you tell me... why can my dog not defend us? is she just supposed to not bark and let zach or i get injured? rei rei could sense that this neighbor is/was no good and she wouldn't stand for it.
and tell my why my dog can't bark at you if you are out in front of our window yelling about something? if you hang around outside in a place that normal people don't hang out, my dog has every right to bark and alert us to your presence. in fact, this stupid neighbor said it herself that she was glad we have a dog and that she is such a protective guard dog. it was only a week or so after we got rei rei that the neighbor pulled up in her car while i was taking rei rei out to potty. rei rei started growling at her when she got out of her car and the neighbor said that she felt better knowing that we have a dog being right next to the main door.
ok, i think i am done with the venting until something else happens. i think i will take a poll from the rest of the neighbors and see if zach and i are really as bad as she claims we are. then i think i will take it to her and just tell her straight up that she choose to live here knowing that it is an apartment complex. there are noises you will always here. you just have to accept that.

is it really november?...

wow the time is really flying past. not a whole lot has been happening with us. zach has been trying to get full time at best buy but keeps getting beat by the same guy for one stupid little thing. i am still waiting for my piece of paper to make my schooling all official like. then i can really hit the job searching hard. rei rei is getting big. she is still learning lots and drives us crazy sometimes with her very high boxador energy. we love her and have been blessed to have her in our lives.
thanksgiving is coming fast and we are still hoping to get things set in for where we are adventuring to. i hope the weather stays good enough to drive down to la verkin. but if not, we will have turkey with mike & debbie. they have been gracious enough to open their home to us since brooke & chris decided to make a family together.
zach has been released from everything but the young men's. and i have been released from everything but sunday school teacher. tomorrow that all might change. our bishop pulled us in last week and i am getting a new calling. can't say just yet. but i'll be busy and that will be that.
i am not sure yet what christmas is going to entail, but i have been asked to sing in sacrament meeting on sunday the 26th. i almost want to ask if i can change that date because most likely, if we can arrange it, i would like to be with family. since our family is all mostly out of state, we won't be here.
anyway, we have been taking things day at a time and that is us. not much going on, but still a fair amount. oh, we didn't have a single trick-or-treater....forcing zach and me to eat all our candy. oh the weight that comes with being married.... i know i have put on a few 10 lbs or so. zach says he has put on about 20, but i can't see where... and we have to take rei rei out on walks so we are getting exercise.... maybe it is all muscle weight :) ha ha ha... i'll just keep telling myself that.

honeymoon and things forgotten

well i forgot to tell you all that i did pass my test. i can't believe i forgot, but then again... i can. so i passed my test and am now waiting yet again for a piece of paper and my school to get things into gear. no more job offers have come, but without my little paper, i can't really go looking. blast!
the REAL SLC soccer game on the 18th (adam's birthday) was a lot of fun. zach was able to get work rearranged so we could go. REAL played Chicago and won! this was a record game because it now is 23 consecutive home wins for any major league soccer team. GO REAL SLC!!!
Dad & Eliz were kind enough to dog sit Rei Rei for us and i am happy to report that she was a very good dog for them. we get to pick her up today after zach gets off work at 5. we just got back from california. we finally took our honeymoon!
mom & dad Smith got us a week in Dolphins Cove in Anaheim and we loved it! We got checked in on monday and went to bed fairly early so we could enjoy Disneyland/California Adventure. zach & i walked 1 mile to Disneyland. we had fantastic 2, 2-day park hoppers thanks to becky & hyrum. poor zach got sick on thursday so we stayed at the resort and played in the pool & got ice cream and made strawberry/banana shakes. friday we went to La Jolla Cove to go snorkeling. It was beautiful and even though the waves were a bit rough to actually see well, we still had fun. saturday we went back to becky & hyrum's to get mom & dad smith to journey back to la verkin and then this morning ogden. dang the week went too fast.
can i just say i love connections. because hyrum is a disney animator, we got an extra free button in disneyland that has "happily ever after" on it. the other button we got just for honeymooning in disneyland said "just married" and they gave both of us our own buttons. we actually only got the free buttons on the second day because the first day (tuesday) was still crazy busy from the weekend. it wasn't too bad, but the wait line for galaxy ghost (space mountain decked out for halloween) was an hour without the fast pass. this was also in part to the ride being shut down for most of the day. but the people in disneyland were even more nice (if that's possible) when you have a button on your shirt that says you are celebrating something special with disneyland. and disneyland at halloween is really amazing! i've never been to disneyland other than during the summer breaks. and really, i want to go see what they do for christmas, but that won't happen for a few years at least. but who knows. the wonderful world of color is a must see in california adventure. it is the newest night show with water, lights, and fire. by far cooler than other shows done in the park. if you get the chance, you have to go see it!
this past week was a much needed, great getaway. it went too quickly, but it was such fun. i took a lot of pictures. you can see them on facebook. i was able to get them on there, but i can't figure out how to get them on the blog. i'll get them on though. for now, i leave cause conference is going to be back on soon. and then we get to go pick up rei rei. i hope she missed us cause we missed her. and i hope she won't act out for us being gone a whole week.

an eskimo, piano stompings, and darkness

so much has already happened this month and it is only half way done. and i am sure that i have already forgotten a lot and will remember later only to forget again. what has happened to my memory?...
first of all, they gave zach another calling in church. he is in the young men's presidency. we still have the other two callings right now as well. but there might be changes this sunday. we'll see. then we might also be asked to speak...so really, we'll see what happens. but the real story is when he went over for his first meeting with the presidency. zach said they had finished with the meeting and were all just kinda chatting and getting ready to leave when someone or all said to zach, "so zach, your wife..." to which zach replied, "is half chinese, half american." somehow he knew that was what they were going to ask. they then said "oh, cause we thought maybe eskimo." i can honestly say that is the first time i have gotten eskimo. usually it is hawaiian then indian, and to the mexicans, mexican. but never eskimo.
secondly i have pictures now taken but due to my lack of technology, i haven't found how to put them on zach's computer to put on my blog. our schedules aren't always the same, and when we are together, i prefer not to be on the computer. my laptop still works, but for some reason it is a lot slower and is always stuffed aside somewhere. so we have just been using zach's. but technically since we are married, everything is now just plain ours. hooray!
third, rei rei (and yes this is the spelling we went with and is on her name tag) peed on me in the jeep the other day. just a tiny tinkle, but she still peed on me. gross! but slightly funny. we were driving back from getting groceries or something and she climbed up in the passenger seat with me and then i felt my leg get oddly warmer. needless to say i showered as soon as we got home.
fourth: zach & i had a fabulous dinner and game night with erin & greg. erin was my one good roommate in the terrace basement. she got married & moved out and we have been trying to get a game night for over a year now. school and then work were always getting in the way. finally we set a date and were able to go. it was so much fun. we ate some amazing smoked chicken that was so tender and flavorful that i will gladly take thanksgiving with them if we were invited. we then played a game called dominion. it is tons of fun once you play the first round to get the hang of it. after that, the card game moves and you really have to stick to what you play because greg is a tricky tricky player. he won almost every round. erin won 2 i think. then i was a party pooper cause i had to go to work the next morning so we left.
fifth, my dad gave me the piano i learned to play on. he brought it down from idaho on saturday the 11th. i love it. my one neighbor hates it. every time i have practiced, i hear stomping above me. you would think maybe they could come tell me to please be quieter instead of stomping around, but whatever. they don't have a problem with rei rei when she sometimes barks or growls, but my piano playing is offensive. who knew.
and ending tonight's blog, my humorous tragedy at work today... it is ad day so i was at work at 4am. i got all the signs done by 630am. i still had other work i had to do for today so i got a snack and a soda for breakfast around 7am. well, that soda finally caught up to me around noon. i went into the women's restroom and proceeded to do my business. then next thing i knew, it was all black. the power had gone out and for some stupid reason, there are no safety lights in the restrooms at work. total black. complete darkness. i couldn't see anything. i had my cell phone in my pants pocket, and had to use it for light so i could finish my business and leave the restroom. just as i was finishing all up, the power came back on. go figure. and maybe perhaps tomorrow i will laugh at it, but for now, i am still angry that there are no safety lights in the restroom. and that concludes my tale for this blog.

welcome september

ok here's the scoop. i haven't taken any pictures. i know i keep saying i will, but i just haven't taken my camera out of the jeep and then i remember when zach has the jeep at work. blast my gettin old memory...i really will post pictures and we have a lot to post now. pictures of our apartment, and..... our new puppy!
yes that's right i said our new puppy. she is adorable and i love her so very much. Rei or Rae (we can't decide on the spelling) is a 5/6 month old chocolate lab/boxer mix. She came to us yesterday from a friend from work. So far Rei/Rae has only pottied in the house 3 times and I think it was because she was nervous in her new home. The first time was 10 minutes after zach left for work...of course she likes zach more... and the 2nd time was 2 minutes after he came home from work. The third time was when we were trying to bedtime her. she didn't want to get locked in the bathroom (we don't have a kennel yet) and pottied on the floor & part of her bed.
Rei/Rae has quite the personality and brains. she knows what toys are hers. she knows sit. she has almost got lay down. and she is learning not to play with our hands and arms as toys. she sort of knows fetch, but is ADOSS (attention deffi...ooo somethin shiny) and looses interest quickly. rei/rae has claimed her spot on the couch, but knows not to jump on zach & my bed. and for being a puppy, she is active, but also pretty chill mannered. i am so excited to finally have a dog of my own.
in other news, i finally have a test day scheduled for my national massage exam. sept 16th at 3pm here in ogden. i didn't hear anything back from the spa for a hands on interview. i am almost certain now that i didn't get that position. i'll have to e-mail/call them and let them know that i have a test day scheduled or maybe when i pass i will let them know i passed. i haven't quite decided yet as i only got my test scheduled today.
i am totally excited to also finally be taking a honeymoon. we are going the last week of september. my boss wasn't too happy when i asked for the time off... (that is the first week of case lot at maceys and we are in the beginning of training 2 new people) i do feel bad, but i also don't quite feel bad as work has been getting more stressful as of late. nothing to do with my boss, but the head boss of the whole store. he is a younger guy and is just riding the power trip. so i am excited to really take an entire week off of work and everything.
i was asked to play a musical number on the piano for sacrament on the 12th. i am so rusty that i am hoping angels will come move my fingers for me. but i am totally stoked because as sort of a graduation/we need to find a home present, my dad offered me the piano i grew up playing. he is bringing it down from idaho on the 11th of september! i am getting a piano...the piano i learned how to play on.
i am also really excited for sept 18th. not just is it adam's birthday, but zach and i have Real Salt Lake soccer tickets. they play chicago and we are going to see them live. zach is pretty excited too. so i think this month is going to be a good month. and i really will post pictures.

now that august is almost done...

first off, we finally heard from our photographer about our wedding pictures. she wasn't going to tell us anything, but because i have family asking for pictures, i finally asked her if she was done with them. well, she said that she isn't going to work on them until she gets paid in full. um, last time i checked, you had to complete a job before getting paid.... hmmm. anyway, she then proceeded to change the contract which we were originally under. now she wants more money and gave us our pictures, but they are on a cd with a password. no idea if she actually saved to the correct format. (our engagement pictures were in the wrong format so we couldn't print them....thankfully zach is a computer wiz so he reformatted and we got our engagement pictures) well, he hasn't quite been able to break the password, so we have no idea if our wedding pictures are even worth spending money on. i have the money, but i can't access it right now since zach & i are really really poor. and we aren't even sure if we want to pay because we don't know what we are paying for.
she is throwing a big hissy fit, and for those of you looking for a photographer, i do not recommend this girl. i might later, but i promise you will want a written contract that both of you sign and date and have copies of. otherwise, i guarantee she will change the contract and try to blame you for it. and if she is grown up enough to be reading this, i do apologize to her. i am sorry things had to end up like this. i should have known better and just hired someone else.
so if anyone reading this has any wedding pictures from zach & my wedding, we would sure appreciate it if you could email them or facebook them or something else.
i interviewed with a spa last monday. i haven't heard anything since. i know i can't actually get hired until i am licensed. i am still waiting on that... it is hard to believe that it really takes that long to get back to people about a test day. i think if i can get a hands-on interview with the spa, they will realize how valuable i am. i have to laugh at myself because i was debating about wearing a skirt or dress pants to the interview. in the end i wore pin stripe dress pants, blue tank top, and white button up shirt. boy oh boy i am glad i chose dress pants.... the interview was on the floor in the yoga room. we sat on the floor in the yoga room. it was kinda cool, but very different. i do not think it would have gone so well if i had worn a skirt.
i had a really neat opportunity on saturday. one of my friends from massage class called me with a volunteer proposition. he knew some people having a fun run that wanted massage therapists at the end for the runners/walkers. he called me up to see if i would like to come be one of the therapists. it was a local job and sounded like fun so i agreed.
they had wipes for our tables, hand sanitizer, papertowels, garbage can, canopy, and even business card holders all set up for us. i just had to bring myself and my table. i didn't keep track of how many people i worked on, but we were only there for about 2 and a half hours. we did an estimate 5-10 minute massage. (both of us forgot to bring a clock) at the end though, they had a little gift bag for me. inside was a really cool tee shirt with the company name and fun run on it, xbalm chapstick, 10 day passes to the gym, women's vitamins, orange julius coupons, a gas card, and a thank you note. i was surprised they gave me a bag. it was really cool. but the neatest thing was at the very end after everyone was gone and we were cleaning up.
the lady in charge is a doctor. we offered to work on her. my friend had the doctor get on his table, and i had the opportunity to work on my friend's mom. we worked for maybe a half hour or so. (as mentioned before, we had no clock) but we were all kinda talking about the response of having massage therapists there at the fun run. i guess there was one lady who just went on and on and on about my work.
this doctor was impressed and said that we needed to come to the office and work on people. she said if she could get enough support that there might be a possibility of the company purchasing chairs for us and we can come either work the chair off, or get a percentage. either way, i hope that something comes of it. i really would be excited to have the opportunity to have a company purchase a massage chair for me and let me work it off or pay it back or take a percentage.
the only downside is, i didn't have business cards to hand out. so i am relying on my friend to remember me and hopefully include me if something does happen. ok the reason i don't have business cards yet is because i haven't ordered any. the school was also supposed to get us business cards before graduation, but that didn't happen. i got a call last week saying i could come pick them up at the school, but i asked if they could mail them to me instead so i don't have to drive to salt lake. well, the school just called me. they didn't update my address. my cards got sent back to the school. i am wondering if maybe that's why i haven't heard anything about my test. the school can't get things together on the paperwork or communication. GRRR! whatever.
hmm...what else....oh, so yesterday in sunday school we had one kid who was really disruptive and down right rude. it was getting on both zach & my nerves. we were both trying so hard to be nice and polite and keep things under control. as soon as the bells rang, this kid went out of the classroom and held the door shut with his foot and body. nobody could get through. zach tried to knock him a few times, but the kid had got another buddy to come help hold the door. finally he let his foot go and we were able to open the door. my guess as why he let the door go, his mom was coming down the hall and a member of the bishopric came out of the door right next to our classroom. i don't know why, but that kid holding the door really really really made me mad. i wanted to smack him aside his head and grab him by the ear and march him over to his mother and tell her what he had just done. i didn't do that. instead i took a deep breath and went back inside the classroom to finish cleaning up. i wanted to cry. i knew i had to let it go, but i really didn't want to. zach came back in and said that the member of the bishopric asked what happened and zach told him. he said it would be taken care of. i went into sacrament meeting still rather angry and on the verge of tears. when we started singing the opening song, i knew that i had to let the anger go or i shouldn't take the sacrament. the words of the hymn calmed my heart and mind & even though i was still not happy with what had happened, i knew it would be ok. something will change, even if it is just my heart. i don't know what else came of this or will come of it, but i know that next week if this kid acts up again, i will find his mother and have her come in the class with us or have him go to sunday school with his mom. zach says he wants to take the kid to an empty classroom and have just the two of them sit in silence until the bell rings. somehow i don't think that would go over so well considering i got chewed out for having a room full of teenagers and just me. hopefully we can figure something out. and now i am going to leave things here. i really will post pictures sometime. of our wedding(maybe) and of our apartment. i know you have all been waiting. so be patient with me. i am doing the best i can...

life is always going to be crazy

i'm all graduated now. HOORAY!! i have been waiting and waiting for the email to come telling me when i can go take my exams. i swear it may never come..... but whatever i guess. all good things will eventually come to those who are patient right?...
so let's see what all has been going on lately...
my job has been getting a bit harder. thankfully i know that i won't have to be there too much longer. i'll actually get to work a career that i love doing.
um, i still really hate drama. i don't understand why people can't just grow up and accept the responsibility instead of blaming everyone else. then they bring in other drama and i have a major headache and i just want to bawl my eyes and heart out right now.
i really am trying hard to stay positive about life, but i am really struggling. just when i think something may finally start looking good, something else comes in and i spend most of my days feeling so down and depressed. now don't get me wrong, i'm ok. or at least i think i am. i know a good portion of my problem is that i am too focused on just myself. i have now been out of school for 2 weeks and i took a few days off work. what did i do in those few days? slept almost the entire days. and when i wasn't sleeping, i was in a bad mood and wanted to just be left alone, but also felt like i was starved for attention. i don't know how to explain it. poor zach has been so patient and i have been extremely moody.
i have a wonderful husband who loves me and wants me to be happy so he does what he can do. and then here i am; moody, whinny, and angry. i feel like i just want to go out for a run, but then i'm so tired all the time and don't want to do anything, but my brain is going crazy for something to do if i just sit and do nothing. we are newly weds so of course we have no money, so we can't really go out and do anything. the only game we have for 2 people is scrabble. zach has now started creaming me, so it's not quite as fun and i can't think of words because i usually always have a headache. we have gone out a few times on walks, and that is always nice when our schedules can agree. but it is kind of rare that our schedules actually will let us have time together.
i know i could be better at praying, reading my scriptures, doing service. maybe that is really all i need. a vacation from myself, from my thoughts and moods.
i made banana bread again. zach likes it, but it isn't as good as the oops one with frozen eggs. This time it came out a bit more moist and it crumbles when you cut it. I am not sure what the difference between the two was, well other than the first time the eggs were frozen solid.... zach says it still tastes really good. he had the last one gone in 2 days. we'll see how long he gets through this one.
i also made chocolate chip cookies for the sunday school boys we are in charge of teaching. zach and i told them we would maybe bring treats if they bring their scriptures and participate in the lessons. the cookies turned out really well, but were almost too moist and so they crumbled too. i am just not sure what the problem is. anyway, the cookies were still a hit and i think they will all have scriptures next week. we shall see... i'm only taking oreos from the store...not homemade.
oh, so i guess i've been in a singles' ward too long.... zach had to work this past sunday. i had to teach by myself. apparently this has changed in the church. i had no idea, and i've never taught before. but i kinda got chewed out by one of the young women teachers for being the only adult teaching. i guess because things have happened there are always supposed to be two adult teachers now for each class every week. once again, i have been in a singles' ward... and zach and i had only been in this new ward for 2 weeks when we were called as sunday school teachers. no one told us anything. they just said "here's the manual. good luck."
so i am not sure what to do since zach is still scheduled for some sundays. i think the one young women leader got her husband to come in cause i ended up having some brother sneek in right before we said the opening prayer. i have no idea who he is. we have only been in the ward 4 weeks and don't know anyone. they stuck us with the youth. i know 2 people's names that welcomed me the very first week in relief society; norma & marge. and i know the bishop and the ward mission leader. i am still learning the kids' names we teach. zach still has no clue as to who is who. we don't even get a roll to read names off of. the way our ward does roll is to write your own name on a paper on the clipboard. so alas, life is crazy and is always going to be.

comings and goings

first off, i am now all done with classes. i still have one more clinic shift tomorrow morning, but i am all done with massage school. i passed all of my classes with mostly A's. my graduation is on August 6, 2010. i am totally excited! it was actually a bit harder to say goodbye to some of my classmates last night than i thought it would be. i really will miss quite a few of them, not all, but more than i had expected. they are good people and it was an experience going through this past year with them.
married life is still good. zach & i are learning more of each other's quirks. i think i need to have more patience though. he is so wonderful to me and i get tired and cranky more than he deserves. hopefully the tired part will be at more of an end now that i'll be home before midnight most, if not all, nights. today i slept until 11am. i took work off since i still have a few vacation hours that i needed to use before next week. originally i was supposed to use those vacation hours for a honeymoon, but that didn't work out. now i am just hoping to get a honeymoon. zach knows that he will have to work on black friday, so we aren't sure if we'll be able to honeymoon for thanksgiving after all. maybe christmas?
i've really enjoyed taking a few days off work, mostly for finals and just a few random ones here and there to use my vacation hours up. i was able to make dinner twice and i also made banana bread. the banana bread was quite an adventure. our fridge leaks and as a result, our eggs froze. i had to improvise. i peeled the shells from the eggs and ran a bit of hot water over them. i ended up just beating them into the mix. i also added vanilla extract, cream cheese, cinnamon, and a bit of milk to the recipe. it turned out really well. zach ate almost the whole loaf.
zach & i have been in our newly wed/nearly dead ward for a grand total of 3 weeks now. we have 2 callings. we are ward missionaries and the sunday school teachers for the 11-13/14 year olds. last sunday was our first time teaching them. we had 5 boys show up. zach did really well teaching. this week is my turn and i am scared to death. i've never taught. i don't like to be in front of people. and now, we get to teach the youth and the new members. wish us luck.
i still don't have pictures yet. i am not sure when i'll actually get them. but i promise i will post them. zach took the jeep to work, so i don't have my camera to take pictures of our apartment. i'll take some and post them sometime soon too. i should have a fair amount more free time now, but i still need to continue studying. nationals exam will be coming hopefully sooner rather than later. i got registered, but i still have to wait for the process and then get my email with the phone number & a password to call so i can schedule when i take the nationals exam.
on an exciting note, i may have a massage job lined up here in ogden at a day spa for women. i just need my career service person to send me the information so i can send my resume in and hopefully all will go well. i know that starting out it is only an 18 hr a week job, but it has the potential to increase. i'll keep you all posted as i find out what the future will unfold. for now i will continue to work at macey's and have somewhat of that financial security. and that is all i have to post now. until next blog....

a whole month flew past

I is a married woman!!! Zach and I were sealed for time and all eternity on June 26, 2010 in the St. George Temple. I have the greatest husband in all the world. We got all moved in to our apartment, and got all the boxes put away, and all the pictures hung, and we have a home together!

i suppose i should let you all know the comings and goings of the past month of june. well, to be honest, it flew past. i'll write what i remember, but most of it is just wedding and such. i'll get pictures posted when i get pictures.

on june 19th, i was able to go to the temple and do my endowment. it was such an incredible experience. not at all what i was thinking it would be, but looking back, i'm not really sure what it was that i did expect. all i know is this; it was absolutely amazing and i was so happy to have all of my family there. (es, we will all be there when you go through so it really will be ALL of us)

i know that i am excited to go back again and again. the peace, joy, and love i felt in the temple is none like i've ever remembered having so strong. i knew that this is where i am supposed to be in life, and that things will always work out. life is hard, but it is also worth it.

i do have a lot of questions about the temple, but i know that as i go back often, i'll always learn. zach has been really good to help me with the simpler questions that can be answered outside the holy temple. and we are making plans to go do sessions in ogden as soon as our schedules will work with each other.

june 19th was also zach & my as well as adam & cedar's open house in blackfoot. i can't believe my little brother is now a grown married man. actually, i can believe it, i just am so proud of him. chris came up with the decorations design and it looked absolutely amazing! it was a perfect blend of adam & cedar's western theme meets zach & my asain theme. the epitome of my mom & dad, western cowboy meets chinese woman and make a family.

i did wear my dress, and it was the first time zach actually saw me in my dress...yes i know it is supposed bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before they are married. anyway,

i spent a fair amount of money on that dress, and i'll wear it if i want to! ha ha!

i'll never forget zach's face when he saw me all dressed in my fabulous wedding dress and my hair & makeup all done pretty (thanks mo!) he couldn't take his eyes off me :) and it actually reminded me of that morning in the temple when i finally found him in the men's section. he looked so handsome and happy and then when he was all sharp in his tux he also looked very handsome and happy. i love my husband! :)

adam & cedar's canopy zach & my canopy my husband & me (although at this point we weren't actually married yet...)

i'll post more pictures of the actual wedding and some of my bridals when i get them. i am going to side track for a second here and just thank everyone for being so supportive and helpful and for all that you have done for zach & me :)

our wedding ceremony was incredible. the spirit was so strong and i know that zach & i are sealed together for eternity! i've only seen zach cry once while we were dating. it wasn't a happy day. but when i saw him tearing up in the temple, i lost it and tears came streaming down my face too. this was a very happy day!

i am so thankful that my family and my new family had such a great turn out. families are wonderful! i was shocked to see my aunt trina & uncle steve in the temple. i have to laugh because i saw this tiny black haired woman sneak in and i thought, "who in zach's family has black hair?! no one!! so who is.....my aunt, and my uncle!" they drove from L.A. the night before and were able to be there for my wedding. sadly they had to leave right after the ceremony, but i was so thankful to have them there!

i also had to chuckle because the sealer called zach "john" and it caught my family off guard. they told me later that they were thinking, "who is john and why isn't she reacting to zach being called the wrong name. are we in the right temple?"

for those of you who might be scratching your head at this, zach is actually john zacharius.

i also had to chuckle because when the sealer did call zach "zacharius" he pronounced it za cha rius. instead of zach a rius. it was funny. more so even because he was practicing with us a few minutes before we actually went into the sealing room. ah, what a great day it all was!!

and married life is good! i have really enjoyed not kicking zach out before i go to sleep at night. i also really enjoy waking up and having his arms around me. i really do have the greatest husband in the whole world. and from here on out, i'll record our adventures together :)

engagement pictures

life has been utterly crazy. between work, school, and now wedding plans, i barely even have time to see my sweet zach. i feel completely exhausted all the time and as a result i have not been so even tempered. it is taking its toll. i wish i could say that all i need is a good night sleep, but that doesn't come so easily. welcome to life.

on a much brighter side.... i have 9 weeks of school left. my boss should be coming back from recovering from having a baby in 2 weeks. and most importantly..... Zach and I will be sealed for time and all of eternity in 4 weeks!!!!

i am so very lucky to have such a wonderful man as zach. i ask him often if he really wants to marry me. if he is really sure about this. i don't deserve him. and he has chosen me :) and i choose him too! i can't understand it, but he loves me. and i am so grateful to be a part of his eternal family.

on a funny side of things.... i really need my hearing checked and brain for that matter... here is why:

zach and i were driving back from church this past sunday. he had not been feeling very well and his tonsils have been really swollen with white spots. zach asked me a question. i didn't quite understand what he had asked so i didn't answer. he then made a statement to which i replied, "i don't know what the johnsons do. i think he is a clerk or something."

zach started laughing. when i inquired as to why he was laughing at me he said, "i didn't ask what the johnsons do. i asked what do tonsils do. and brother johnson is in the bishopric sweetheart."

i swear that when i am old and have lost even more brain cells that zach is going to have to remind me to put real clothes on (not pjs) before i leave the house. and probably he will have to remind me to put socks and shoes on too. my brain is so shot its a wonder that i still manage to pass my classes. and i'm not even that old yet.

i do hit a mile marker this year.... a quarter of a century... yikes ;) anyway i have much things to get done so i'll post some pictures and get going. try to update as i can... no promises :)

and now march is almost gone too...

well things have been much better at my new place. i have to laugh because my roommate was talking to a friend of hers and she stated that she doesn't think i eat because there is no food of mine that she can find. i haven't been grocery shopping since i moved, and all of my not perishable food is still packed. i hardly ever see her and she asked me if i even sleep. my answer was yes i try between the hours of 12am and 4am, sometimes 3am.
um, i passed all my classes last quarter. we are now 2 weeks into the 4th quarter. i still have one more quarter after this. don't ask how they got 5 to be called quarters of 10 weeks... anyway, i have this quarter plus next and then i am all done with school!!
and now i know you have all been waiting for the details of how zach proposed. perhaps i should first just state that... I AM ENGAGED!!!!
zach, lis, lis roommate, and i went to moab the weekend of the 19th. lis was running the half marathon. we went as a mini vacation to support her. tradition with this race is that the night before we (this time only lis) run the race, we go out to dinner. well, i was a bit tired and the drive down was slightly boring for me since all i do is drive nowadays. i admit i was a tiny bit cranky when we got down to moab. we quickly got camp set up and went to dinner at zaks. the wait would have been an hour and a half, but we chose to sit at the bar so we could eat and get some kind of sleep friday night.
dinner was delicious. but somehow i still wasn't feeling quite like my self. i am not sure why exactly, but i think that it had something to do with a stupid monthly friend that could have been coming for an early visit. but thats life, so i was just trying to manage.
at one point in dinner, lis & her roommate went to use the restroom. zach turned to me and said, "i see something shiny in your future..." i said, "oh yeah?" thinking that he was maybe he had my ring... then he said, "probably not this weekend." and my heart dropped. i admit i was kinda pissed off by that. it had confirmed my theory that he didn't have my ring and wasn't going to propose in moab as we had once talked about doing.
moab was freezing for some reason....at least after the sun went down. i don't recall it ever being that cold before in the previous years we have been to this same race. we decided that we wanted a campfire. well, me being the fire queen... ha ha... set to work getting a fire going the moment we got back from dinner. i felt like a complete idiot. the wood wouldn't burn. it was still rather wet inside and i was getting angry and frustrated. zach got down and was kneeling by the fire trying to be my bellows while i kept my attempts at lighting the fire. i went back and forth from the fire to my jeep to see what i had in there that would burn as well as be kindling. during this whole time i was just getting extremely frustrated and angry that i couldn't get this fire going, and it was cold, and my hands were starting to hurt a bit from trying to hold my lighter down long enough for something to maybe start burning for a second. zach continued to be my bellows. just when i was about to give up and go ask our neighbors for some of their lighter fluid or something, zach said just one word. "amber."
everything that was rushing through my head abruptly stopped at hearing my name come from his lips. i stopped and looked at him. zach was kneeling on one knee with something that looked to be a box in his hands. i couldn't believe it. i hugged his head and let out a small 'you've got to be kidding me' laugh. then let go so he could finish what he had to say.
"amber, will you marry me?"
tears came to my eyes as i could barely whisper, "of course i will.... yes. yes i will marry you."
then more tears came streaming down my face as zach pulled me tight in his arms and i realized how much i truly love this amazing, wonderful, almost perfect (ish) man.
then zach spoke again, "don't you want to put your ring on?"
i had almost forgotten that i was supposed to be getting my ring with a proposal. zach slipped it on my finger and it fit perfect. (thanks to me realizing a few months ago that we have the same ring size)
we spent the next little bit kissing, and hugging, and me crying a bit more and then we realized that lis and her roommate weren't at our campsite anymore. they had gone over to our neighbors' blazing fire to 'give us some alone time' and to get warm. at this point we all decided that it probably would be a good idea to try and go to bed. i am not sure how i actually got to sleep because i was so giddy and happy and just wanted to yell at the top of my lungs that i love zach and we are going to be married!
anyway, we all were able to get some sleep and lis did absolutely amazing on her race! i credit part to the pre-event sports massage i gave her before the race. but all of the work really came from lis. she has spent the last few months almost entirely at the gym. lis you are my hero!! i wish i could have ran the race too, but i would have slowed you down until i made you go on and just leave me to make your time. on that note....i am totally stoked that i actually got to see you come in to the finish line this time!
ok, so you all want back to zach & me now..... so here is what we know so far...

we are getting married.

we are getting married in the st. george temple.

we are getting married in the st. george temple on june 26, 2010.

we are getting married in the st. george temple on june 26, 2010 at 8:30 in the morning.

i have my dress and love it because it is perfect! i love my ring because zach listened to what i liked and the symbolism behind it....and he picked it out and i love it!

our colors are; mild evergreen, tidal basin, and quite red.

we love each other with all that can be and we are going to be married for time and all eternity!

my married name will be: Mrs. John Zacharius Smith aka Amber Jean Smith.

and that is what we know. i have to run now because i should be doing some homework.... but i wanted to post because i know you have all been waiting and waiting. sorry i have a very busy schedule right now. i really do try and make time to update everyone. okie dokie. i'll be back sometime. hopefully sooner rather than later.

february has come and is almost gone....

holy cow a whole month has gone by since i've blogged. time is just going crazy and too darn fast. i haven't even been able to get online for more than maybe 5 or 10 minutes here and there. anyway, i am still alive for the most part. actually i am doing pretty well. a lot has been happening this month.
first off, i am moving this coming saturday to west haven. i got a new roommate in january, and she refuses to keep clean and stop using my stuff without replacing it. she told my landlords that i am being mean and that she feels like she has no space here. they emailed me and asked what was going on. i told them that she had broken my vacuum belt and refused to buy a new one stating that she didn't break it. i also told them that i had asked her to clean up her messes and to stop using my stuff and that she also refused. what she failed to tell them is that she told me she was going to throw out all of my stuff. my landlords said that they hoped we had the situation worked out because if someone had to move because of the other person, the other person would be charged for the entire apartment. side note- they raised the rent for the place... not for me, but for anyone who moves in now.
well, things didn't get worked out. instead my roommate started showing her true colors and behaving like a spoiled brat. the apartment reeks and i can barely breath outside of my bedroom. i packed everything up that i could and have slowly been moving into a friend's cousin's townhouse. she has a brand new townhouse and is tired of living alone. she is going to charge me what i pay now. and i get my own room, and bathroom. it will be so wonderful.
school is more than halfway done. i graduate in august as long as i pass all of my classes. so far i have done really well in all of them. we have 3 more weeks left in this quarter and then 2 more quarters after this one. i can't wait to be done.
yesterday i had a much needed girls day out with lis. we went looking at dresses. and then i helped lis take engagement pictures for a friends of ours. then lis took me to dinner as sort of payment for helping her move, borrow my furniture, and help with pictures. i told her she didn't need to worry about any of it, but she insisted. then lis had to leave because she was going to aida with mom and dad arrington. zach got off work by the time we were done, so it worked out quite nicely. he and i then moved a bunch more of my stuff. and then we had dinner and watched episodes of scrubs.
oh, i start clinicals this saturday. i got the saturday morning shift. so if anyone is interested, i can't guarantee that i will be your therapist, but i work the saturday morning shift. the hours of clinic are saturday & sunday 8am to 5pm. i hear that saturdays are busier than sundays so there is a much longer waiting list on saturday. get in quick.
i can't really think of much else going on right now. work is work. they are cutting hours but increasing the work load. we got a new store director and he is changing everything. he makes you feel like all the work you have done so far has been crap and completely wrong. we shall see what happens in the future. hopefully i won't be there too much longer. i am hoping to have a career by the end of the year. i am thinking either a spa, clinical office, or a combination of the two. i know eventually i will open my own practice, but i will have to work up to it first. get some experience. i think i will have plenty of clients (if the economy starts going up) then they can afford to have actual relief from pain, and awareness to fix their own bodies. well, i am going to end here for now. i will try to not be such a stranger, but no promises because it is only going to get busier until i am done with school at least. but perhaps i will have other plans going on either before school ends or maybe after school ends. we shall see.

into the new year

so the last week of my vacation from school came and went. it was rough. my boss was out longer than she had planned and there was so much work and pressure on me at work. the newest person wasn't doing her job correctly, but wouldn't let me correct her. she'd just roll her eyes and tune me out. then everyone started complaining to me about how she was seriously messing up everything they had asked her to do. i tried to have her fix them, but once again she didn't do her job correctly so everything and i mean everything came down on me. i am almost to the point that i want to quit my job even though i have nothing else lined up.
my boss came back this last week and we had a chat. she says we all just need to chill and start again. that things got too blown out of focus and we had too much to deal with at once. i told her that my frustrations come from not being able to give the newest person other things to do because she can't get the simple small things done. she wastes time and works so slow. she doesn't listen to how to correctly do things and when she doesn't know, she makes it up instead of asking how. my boss listened and said that we just need to be patient and take time to show her. i also told my boss that i can't believe that the new girl can't even hang tags correctly. for example... the suave shampoo & conditioner have only 1 number difference in the upc. the new girl hung conditioner tags in place of shampoo tags and left the old, wrong priced conditioner tags up. the non-foods person came and asked why this happened. i asked the new girl to go out and verify the hair care section. she didn't. so the non-foods person had to bring me all the shampoo in the one set so i could make correct tags for the shelf.
this is a huge problem and when upc numbers are so close, you have to go by the item number on the tag. we have explained this to the new girl several times, but she just is not getting it. she keeps hanging the tags where ever she feels like hanging them. i have found so many errors when i have gone out to help hang tags. i know that it is her because no one else in the department does it on the daily basis. and the other people that hang tags are competent enough to read the numbers correctly and hang them correctly. so hopefully i can be more patient and survive work with an upbeat attitude.
hmm....what else has been happening....
zach donated blood for the first time and almost passed out. he was too stubborn to actually pass out and almost didn't let me go get some help. when zach's face went from usual normal white to pale and no color, i didn't care about his stubborn....i got someone to help. i should explain:
my boss' husband had surgery, a very major surgery, on the 7th of january. the doctor said that if friends and family donate blood, they can take some of the price off of the blood needed in surgery. her husband went through 24 units of blood. i love to donate blood, so i talked zach into coming with me. unfortunately i couldn't donate that day, but zach was able to. he is such a good sport and willingly donated. and that's why he almost passed out....for a good cause.
school has been getting harder, but also more interesting. we started cranial sacral therapy and actually i have the final for it on wednesday. it is about manipulating the sutures in the skull to relax and let your cerebral spinal fluid flow freely through your entire body bringing homeostasis and awareness of your body. people who suffer from chronic allergies have had success with cranial sacral therapy and don't have allergies anymore. also people with tmjd have had success in getting rid of the dysfunction. people with chronic migraines, add, adhd, dyslexia, sinus issues, vision issues, ear aches, and all sorts of problems have found relief and have no more problem since having cranial sacral therapy done.
it is really amazing stuff. i know some of it seems a bit "out there" but really it is quite effective. most of it is done through energy work since the sutures in the skull don't move like other joints in the body, but they still move. they just move more like clock wheels. anyway, i would just like to post one experience i had in class last night. i had a bit of a long day and work has not been the easiest for me. usually i don't have class friday night, but we didn't have class monday for martin luther king, jr day. so we had to make class up on friday.
for some reason, i couldn't focus and just felt really anxious. i didn't want to be there and was struggling keeping my mind on cranial sacral therapy. my partner let me be the client first. i was trying so hard to just relax and let go of whatever it was that was irritating me. i would almost relax, and then i would snap back into being annoyed and anxious. then the time was called for the sessions to be ended. my 'therapist' was going to call over the teacher or the teacher's aide, but both were busy helping other students. i said not to worry about it but we could just switch places and i would now be the therapist.
as we started the session, i was still struggling keeping my focus and now my focus toward my client. i wasn't sure if i was feeling the cranial rhythm or if it was just my imagination. i think my teacher's aide was feeling my stress and came over. he just passed by, but then turned around just before i opened my mouth to whisper his name. i mouthed "will you help me?" at him and he came right to the side of my client. he asked what i was struggling with. i asked him to help me feel if i was really feeling the cranial rhythm correctly or if i was feeling something else.
as he started to open his mind, he said to me "you need to let go and stop trying so hard" i need to explain really quickly that my TA doesn't have to touch a person to feel what they are feeling. he is very in-tune with energy and is more powerful when he doesn't actually physically touch. my client then opened his mouth and told the TA that during my session i was not relaxing and was struggling to let go.
the TA then said, "have you been putting in a lot more at work?" i answered "yes" he said that he could feel that it is taking its toll on me. he then asked if i drank a lot of coffee. i said no. he asked if i am drinking something that is causing my heart to have problems. i said i am trying to cut back. he then said that my heart is going to quickly and i am exhausted and need to not work so much. he didn't even touch me. he doesn't know me. but he could feel exactly what is/has been going on with me. he then did something and i can't say for exact sure if he physically touched me, but the second he did whatever it was, my head dropped and i could suddenly feel my client's cranial rhythm almost pounding in my hands. i could also focus and felt happy and energetic and at peace.
he asked, "is your head a lot clearer now?" i answered, "yes thank you" and he said, you should sleep really well tonight. and guess what.....i slept for 9 hours straight last night. and when i woke up, i realized i didn't toss and turn or at least didn't feel like i had. and also when i woke up, i felt energized and happy again. like everything is going to be alright. i haven't felt that upbeat in a while. ask zach if you think i am joking. it was amazing.
oh, so last weekend zach and i went down to southern utah to visit his family. we left friday after i got off work and spent a wonderful weekend together with his family. we got there early enough on friday that we could visit with zach's parents before we all went to bed. then saturday we got up and went to ihop in cedar city with most everybody; ken & joyce, kendra & golden and their kids; lincoln, shaunie, gage, and lacy; christy & adam, and zach & i. the only ones missing were missing cause they live in california. becky & hyrum and their 3 kids live in california. i can't think of the names of their kids right now. ugh...i hate when i forget. it will come to me later i am sure.
after breakfast at ihop, we went to christy & adam's house and watched "up" on their new high definition tv. then we went to kendra & golden's house to drop off the kids. we then decided to go visit zach's grandpa. so we loaded up and got to have a good visit with zach's grandparents. the house that his grandparents live in is HUGE. and really would be so much fun to grow up in and explore. there are rooms that i would never had guessed would be there. it was cool to hear zach's stories of doing different things in and around the house. then we went for a little sight seeing tour. i can now say i have been to where "butch cassidy & the sundace kid" had the bicycle scene and school house filmed. it was just a tiny little place, but fascinating. it was a good weekend and felt like going home.

sunday morning i was able to help zach's mom with dinner prep and was privileged to do some massage on her. it has been a while since i have actually given bodywork, and it was wonderful to be able to feel some stress, worry, and tension leave her body. i wish i could have done a full session for her, especially seeing how receptive to the different massage modalities she is. i did a combination of accupressure, cranial sacral therapy, reflexology, and a few swedish compression strokes. i promised to bring my table back and give her a real full body massage.
sunday dinner was very scrumptious. we had pot roast, potatoes, onions, carrots, rolls, salad, jello salad and chocolate pie. then sadly zach & i had to leave back to ogden. it was hard to leave. anyway, i should get some sort of studying done. and i will try to post more often. i can't make any promises though. time is so limited now-a-days with me.