a day of remembrance

today marks 15 years since my mom passed away. oh how i miss her. i often find myself thinking about how different things would be if she were still on this earth. it is silly, i know. i find myself thinking if i really remember her. here is what i do remember.
i remember always running to her if i was hurt or if i was in trouble with my dad. i would sit on her lap and the world would be ok again.
i remember her smile.
i remember the day she came home from getting her hair cut really really short. i didn't know at the time she did it so it would be easier when her hair fell out from the chemo.
i remember thinking, "what did she do with her hair?" but telling her, "i think it's cute"
i remember coming home from school to the house smelling like bread and suddenly getting really hungry. no one made bread like she did.
i remember her driving faster when the classical music on the radio got faster.
i remember when she was really mad that she could no longer speak in english.
i remember she always prayed in chinese.
i remember when she would start doing dishes the running water would make her have to use the bathroom, but she would do the "potty dance" until the sink was full then she'd run.
i remember she would always make my dad a lunch everyday for work.
i remember her walking with me to school one day because i had missed the bus.
i remember how she loved to sing.
i remember that she used to keep some type of candy under the headboard drawer under her pillow.
i remember going grocery shopping with her and me always having to put a penny in the gumball machine.
i remember crawling into her side of the bed at night if i got sick or had a bad dream.
i remember she always planned the best birthday parties for me.
i remember the beautiful dresses she made.
i remember going to "help" her teach english to some chinese friends.
i remember she loved to chew gum.
i remember how she always had some chinese medicine to fix any ailment.
i remember her doing all the packing on all our family camping trips.
i remember her cutting up the deer my dad got on his hunting trips.
i remember her plucking chickens.
i remember every christmas morning we would have new pajamas made by her and we had to go put them on before we opened presents.
i remember back to school shopping with her & how we would all put our coats in the cart so she could also do christmas shopping if needed.
i remember her hugs.
i remember how she used to lock the storage room so we wouldn't get into the snacks for camping.
i love my mom!