so here we are again... almost 5 months later... well i have been super busy trying to take care of the little one. kyan is growing so fast. he rolled over at 2 weeks old and has just been a busy boy ever since. ok, so really it took him another month to roll over after the 2 week mark, but hey, he is a growing boy.
i am continually amazed at how much this little person has to offer. kyan is so smart and absorbs everything. today he and i made faces and sounds back and forth. he was totally copying me. i just love my baby.
kyan of course has his days that are more trying on my patience, but i am learning for sure. he is so close to crawling and i am freaking out. mostly because i am afraid i won't be able to keep up and something will happen to him. i know, i know... over protective mommy syndrome kicking in.
i already have been having dreams that something has happened to zach and me. like the other night i dreamed we were both killed in a car accident. i woke up so scared that i didn't know what was going to happen to my baby. who would take care of him? how would the families handle it? who would be the one that would establish things? i talked to zach about it, and he said that he had kind of been thinking about it too. so i asked him where he wanted kyan to go if something happened to us. he didn't want to talk about it.
after having different family members deal with adoption and stuff like that, i learned that we do have to have a plan and have it written down somewhere otherwise our kid will become property of the state. we don't want that to happen.
so after thinking more about it, here is what my thoughts are:
if something were to happen to zach or me or both of us and we can no longer take care of kyan, i want kyan to be raised by his uncle adam ray taylor and aunt cedar kelly taylor.
if they are unable or unwilling to take kyan, i want kyan to be raised by his aunt brooke beth taylor snyder and uncle christopher william snyder.
if they are unable or unwilling to take kyan, i want kyan to be raised by his aunt esther taylor.
and that is as far as i go because i don't think it will be a problem.
now i understand that some of you might be upset by this, but after much thought on this, this is my decision. kyan is my baby. and i feel that he will have the best chance of being a happy, strong in the gospel, active, healthy boy and man if he is raised by people who already have those qualities as their lifestyle. i don't want anyone to feel like they aren't good enough to raise my baby. i just know what my family has been through and know what lifestyle we live.
so anyway, i don't think anything will happen to zach and me, but i don't want kyan to be given to the state. i want him to be surrounded by family and people who love him and will give him the life that i want him to have.
let's see what else is going on....
oh i got a job at an assisted living home. the elderly people are crazy, but lots of fun. i love working there. i am doing massage twice a week. one day i give back massage and they sit in a massage chair or just a regular chair if they can't get on the massage chair. and then the second day i give hand massage. it is lots of fun to talk to them and see how much massage makes a difference. sometimes i think they just like the company, but they are always so grateful to have massage. i love working in massage where i can help without stressing. it is a wonderful field and i am so glad to have finally gone to school and learned what i was naturally good at.
zach is still working 2 jobs. he has been a lot busier and doesn't hardly get a day off. when he is home, he tries to help with kyan and let me rest. i love watching kyan and zach play. kyan gives his daddy the biggest smiles and giggles. kyan loves to grab zach's nose and pull his cheeks and squeal in his ears. zach doesn't quite like the squealing. i don't like that it is so loud and high pitched.
kyan squealed so high and loud the other day that it sent reichael running from the room. that is saying something cause reichael is very patient with kyan. he loves his dog and she is getting to be more tolerant of kyan and will let him pull her ears and pet her. it will be lots of fun to watch those two play when kyan gets a bit bigger. at the rate he is growing and progressing, it won't be too much longer.
we are still trying to give kyan only breast milk, but he shows so much interest in "real" food when we all sit at the table. he also "drank" from a cup yesterday when his grandma and grandpa couldn't get him to take a bottle. i don't like that idea of him drinking from a cup just yet cause he could choke, but they said it worked for them. he still will get a bottle from me. at least until he is 6 months old. then we will see what the dr says. esp since sometimes he chokes with the medium flow nipple bottle.
i can't really think of what else to post right now so i will end. hopefully i can get back sooner. probably not, but there is always the thought. if only there was the technology that i could think about posting a blog and it would post right then what i wanted to post. kinda like facebook, but tons better because it is the blog. hmmmm... something to think about until next time.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
being a mom
wow time has flown again. and most of it isn't even my own time. i now have a little one to take care of. that is our biggest piece of news. our baby boy is here! Kyan John Smith was born April 1, 2012 at 4:58am. he weighed in at 6lb 12oz and was 19in long.
i should probably back up a little and fill in march and now april. okay:
march 2012- i was still working my usual schedule. zach got full time with diamond ranch academy. baby didn't want to come early. i kept working. zach kept working. and really that is about it for march. at least, that is what my brain remembers. (i have a hard time remembering things now...baby took it all)
well march 31, 2012 was to be my last scheduled day of work. i decided that if kyan hadn't come before then, that i would be too miserable to give quality massage. so i worked until the last day of the month. i woke up that saturday morning not feeling very well. at all. but with it being my last day of work for a while, i figured i could just cowboy up and go in.
i should explain that my not feeling well was more than just the uncomfortable feeling you have all the last month or 2 of pregnancy. i did however feel like i should just work the last day. so i did. well when zach & i got home saturday night, i really wasn't feeling well. i was worse than when i got up, but zach has had to work every other sunday, so i sent him to priesthood session of conference. (he needs some religion in his life :)
zach got back from priesthood session and i was even worse. i just wanted to go to sleep and hope that i felt better in the morning. the only problem with that was that i couldn't get comfortable. at all. i was hurting and aching and nothing made it better. dad (smith) finally said that we should just go to the hospital and see what was going on with me. i wanted a priesthood blessing first, so they (zach, dad, & miah) gave me a blessing.
i am so grateful to have the priesthood in my home!!!
so we grabbed my bag & went to the hospital. this was around 9pm saturday night. my pain had gotten worse and more constant. we got to the hospital and were put in an observation room. they said we had to wait an hour and see what was going on. well the hour came and went. and i guess they had a shift change or something because we had to wait another hour in observation. finally a nurse or an aid came in and said to follow her.
we were confused. our reply was "oh, you are in labor and are going to have your baby tonight. didn't anyone tell you?"
i know now that i was in labor all day saturday. i just had no idea that is what labor felt like. i do now. so the nurse showed us to our labor/delivery suite and there we stayed. the contractions were getting stronger and lasting about 30 sec to a minute and coming every 2 to 3 minutes. they hurt! i wasn't dilating fast enough though, so it was going to be a very long night. finally i couldn't take it anymore. i wanted the epidural. i was really not wanting it for 2 reasons: #1- i am a pretty tough girl and don't like to admit when i am hurting because there really isn't any point in complaining because not a whole lot will take pain away. #2- they had already blown the iv in my right arm and it was black, swollen, and hurt and another needle stick was the last thing i wanted.
zach talked me into getting the epidural. well, brooke too. she wasn't there, but we were texting her. she said that once she had got her epidural, that she went from a 1 to a 10 in an hour. once she was able to relax, the rest just took care of itself. i have that same problem... i can't really relax. so i did get the epidural. i do not regret it at all. in fact, i think that is the way to go. i was able to calm down, and my body was able to rest a bit. the epidural was at midnight and i was at a 3.5 so the going had been slow.
i was fully dilated at 4am. they called our dr at 4:20 and he was there by 4:45. i pushed for 10 minutes and kyan came at 4:58am.
pregnancy and delivery could not have been better. i only had gained a total weight of 10lbs... i had weight i could have lost before, so i really probably was about 15lb total gain. our dr wasn't concerned, so we weren't either. delivery was really smooth too. i didn't tear or have to be cut. kyan did have the cord wrapped around his neck, and had a bowel movement in the placenta, but the dr was able to take care of it and kyan is healthy.
being a mom is a tough job. i love it, and i love my baby. i can't explain that automatic love that washes over you when you first hear your baby cry or when you first hold you baby in your arms. i do have to note that they had zach help hold my leg, so he watched the birth. he didn't say it out loud but told me later that when he first saw kyan, he thought "ah, an alien!"
i am glad he didn't say it out loud right then, but i think it is funny that is what he first thought. he loves being a daddy. i am going to have to end this soon because kyan is waking up and is going to be hungry.
i will end with a few things i have learned and want to remember for next time:
#1- it is totally ok to get the epidural. you aren't less of a woman. you aren't a wimp. you are doing your body a favor and relaxing and resting so you can be awake enough to hold your baby when he/she comes.
#2- it is totally ok to let them take your baby to the nursery so you can sleep. that's why they have a nursery. you won't get sleep for the next 18+ years after your baby is born, so it is ok to have the hospital watch baby while you sleep while you can.
#3- nursing is hard. if you take to it easily, good job. if you don't, it is ok. it is hard! the important thing is to get the baby breast milk. it doesn't matter how you get your baby breast milk, just so long as you try to give your baby breast milk.
#4- give your body time to heal. don't try and do everything like you used to before baby came. take it easy and learn together as a family.
and now i need to leave it... kyan is awake and i need to care for my little one :)
i should probably back up a little and fill in march and now april. okay:
march 2012- i was still working my usual schedule. zach got full time with diamond ranch academy. baby didn't want to come early. i kept working. zach kept working. and really that is about it for march. at least, that is what my brain remembers. (i have a hard time remembering things now...baby took it all)
well march 31, 2012 was to be my last scheduled day of work. i decided that if kyan hadn't come before then, that i would be too miserable to give quality massage. so i worked until the last day of the month. i woke up that saturday morning not feeling very well. at all. but with it being my last day of work for a while, i figured i could just cowboy up and go in.
i should explain that my not feeling well was more than just the uncomfortable feeling you have all the last month or 2 of pregnancy. i did however feel like i should just work the last day. so i did. well when zach & i got home saturday night, i really wasn't feeling well. i was worse than when i got up, but zach has had to work every other sunday, so i sent him to priesthood session of conference. (he needs some religion in his life :)
zach got back from priesthood session and i was even worse. i just wanted to go to sleep and hope that i felt better in the morning. the only problem with that was that i couldn't get comfortable. at all. i was hurting and aching and nothing made it better. dad (smith) finally said that we should just go to the hospital and see what was going on with me. i wanted a priesthood blessing first, so they (zach, dad, & miah) gave me a blessing.
i am so grateful to have the priesthood in my home!!!
so we grabbed my bag & went to the hospital. this was around 9pm saturday night. my pain had gotten worse and more constant. we got to the hospital and were put in an observation room. they said we had to wait an hour and see what was going on. well the hour came and went. and i guess they had a shift change or something because we had to wait another hour in observation. finally a nurse or an aid came in and said to follow her.
we were confused. our reply was "oh, you are in labor and are going to have your baby tonight. didn't anyone tell you?"
i know now that i was in labor all day saturday. i just had no idea that is what labor felt like. i do now. so the nurse showed us to our labor/delivery suite and there we stayed. the contractions were getting stronger and lasting about 30 sec to a minute and coming every 2 to 3 minutes. they hurt! i wasn't dilating fast enough though, so it was going to be a very long night. finally i couldn't take it anymore. i wanted the epidural. i was really not wanting it for 2 reasons: #1- i am a pretty tough girl and don't like to admit when i am hurting because there really isn't any point in complaining because not a whole lot will take pain away. #2- they had already blown the iv in my right arm and it was black, swollen, and hurt and another needle stick was the last thing i wanted.
zach talked me into getting the epidural. well, brooke too. she wasn't there, but we were texting her. she said that once she had got her epidural, that she went from a 1 to a 10 in an hour. once she was able to relax, the rest just took care of itself. i have that same problem... i can't really relax. so i did get the epidural. i do not regret it at all. in fact, i think that is the way to go. i was able to calm down, and my body was able to rest a bit. the epidural was at midnight and i was at a 3.5 so the going had been slow.
i was fully dilated at 4am. they called our dr at 4:20 and he was there by 4:45. i pushed for 10 minutes and kyan came at 4:58am.
pregnancy and delivery could not have been better. i only had gained a total weight of 10lbs... i had weight i could have lost before, so i really probably was about 15lb total gain. our dr wasn't concerned, so we weren't either. delivery was really smooth too. i didn't tear or have to be cut. kyan did have the cord wrapped around his neck, and had a bowel movement in the placenta, but the dr was able to take care of it and kyan is healthy.
being a mom is a tough job. i love it, and i love my baby. i can't explain that automatic love that washes over you when you first hear your baby cry or when you first hold you baby in your arms. i do have to note that they had zach help hold my leg, so he watched the birth. he didn't say it out loud but told me later that when he first saw kyan, he thought "ah, an alien!"
i am glad he didn't say it out loud right then, but i think it is funny that is what he first thought. he loves being a daddy. i am going to have to end this soon because kyan is waking up and is going to be hungry.
i will end with a few things i have learned and want to remember for next time:
#1- it is totally ok to get the epidural. you aren't less of a woman. you aren't a wimp. you are doing your body a favor and relaxing and resting so you can be awake enough to hold your baby when he/she comes.
#2- it is totally ok to let them take your baby to the nursery so you can sleep. that's why they have a nursery. you won't get sleep for the next 18+ years after your baby is born, so it is ok to have the hospital watch baby while you sleep while you can.
#3- nursing is hard. if you take to it easily, good job. if you don't, it is ok. it is hard! the important thing is to get the baby breast milk. it doesn't matter how you get your baby breast milk, just so long as you try to give your baby breast milk.
#4- give your body time to heal. don't try and do everything like you used to before baby came. take it easy and learn together as a family.
and now i need to leave it... kyan is awake and i need to care for my little one :)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
2012
ok it has been a long time since i blogged. a lot has happened. i will try and remember them, but mostly i will just spotlight ish.
september 2011- came and went with not too much but work going on. work is still work. boss still not a good boss. and that's about it.
october 2011- we moved back in with mom & dad (smith) at the end of the month. trying to stay and get ahead on bills. moving sucks. i don't like packing and all the stuff you can't pack until last minute and then figuring what needs to go into the storage unit and what needs to stay out. it wasn't fun at all. but we got it done. and then, the day before we moved out, the water heater broke. water went all over the hallway and caused quite a mess. we rented a rug doctor and used an outside hose to fill the machine to clean the carpets. hot water works so much better to clean, but with the water heater breaking, we did the best we could. halloween was fun to see all the kids in costumes. i didn't dress up, but i found out my boss sort of wanted us to.
he dressed up and let me just say, i don't ever want to see him like that again. it was creepy and disgusting. he wore a fake velvet suit. it was purple and had leopard looking collar. then he had his face painted pale and wore an afro black wig. it was not a good look. weirdo....
november 2011- thanksgiving was a lot of fun. i got to go out to colorado to see my family. zach was going to come, but then his work sprung last minute "you have to work or you won't have a job" crap on him. so he had to stay here & ended up going with kendra & golden's family & miah to golden coral.
colorado was a lot of fun. i went out sunday afternoon and got there just before it got dark. the drive wasn't bad. no snow, not really any traffic either. i almost made it on 1 tank of gas. brooke & chris hosted a pie night with all of their colorado friends, neighbors, and ward members. it was fun. i chased the boys around when they weren't playing with their friends. i cannot believe how big chan, wyatt, and carter are getting. chan is almost as tall as me now. almost. i know he will be taller than me, but it is just crazy to see how much they grow in just a year.
monday we just hung out. i took my massage table out with me since i owe peeps massage that would be coming and to brooke (whose house we all went to). we had fhe with ma & pa (snyder) and it was a lot of fun. i miss seeing everyone.
tuesday adam & cedar came. chan was stoked. he got to shoot guns with adam & cedar (on wednesday so there was light outside). i loved watching how much the boys love adam & cedar...esp cedar. they wouldn't hardly let them breathe. i can't wait to see the kids adam & cedar will have. they will be great parents. both are so good with kids.
wednesday my dad, mary, dj, and the girls got there. lily wasn't quite as open as izzy & maddy were. we got them warmed up though. it was fun to watch them all run around with the boys. all of the kids are getting so big.
essie couldn't make it out. it was the most tragic thing of thanksgiving.
i can't remember which day it was, but i introduced chandler to the game "guard the puddle" my grandpa used to play this game with us. brooke & i got quite a few good laughs from chandler. he didn't get the point of the game, and kept wanting to play again and again and again.
if you don't know this game, i will explain it.
you have 2 people. one has 2 spoons (1 in each hand). the other has a rag. you pour water into a puddle on the floor. the person with the rag tries to wipe up the puddle. the person with the spoons has to guard the puddle. the person with the rag then pulls the person with the spoons into the puddle. this makes the puddle soak into the spoon person's pants.
the first time i pulled chan through the puddle he just laughed and said, "oh nice one beanie! let's play again" that is when brooke and i started laughing really hard. chan started laughing really hard too. brooke asked him what he was laughing at, and he said he didn't know. this of course brought on a whole new round of laughing. it was pretty funny.
so i kinda counted how many massages i gave over the thanksgiving week... i think it was 9. one of them was on chandler. i about died laughing during his massage. he didn't quite understand it, so brooke and i explained it to him. we had him keep his underwear on because when brooke first said to take off all his clothes, he wasn't sure he wanted a massage anymore.
he is still little enough, i just used 2 big towels instead of having to pull out all new sheets and such. chandler was a little tense at first, but when i started to work, he relaxed. then he started to make "ooooo" and "oh yeah right there" and "ahhh" and "that feels so good" noises. i was having to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. chan then asked me, "do you have one of those thingys that massage your head?" to which i replied, "i use my fingers & hands to do that. would you like your head massaged?" i think that was his favorite part (his head massage) chan was so relaxed that he slept so good. in fact he slept so well that he had an accident in his bed. we know now that he can't have massage right before bed anymore.
thursday was a fantastic dinner. i didn't get to eat nearly as much as i wanted... mostly because i sadly got sick and threw up the day before. but it was all really yummy and i wanted to just binge on all the good food. we finally told my family about our news.
december 2011- it went by too fast. i was trying to be a sneaky wife and not let zach know what i was getting him for christmas and that i hadn't done any shopping for him... well that didn't work out. he knew i had already done my christmas shopping for him, and he pretty much guessed what i got him. it was a good christmas. all of the smith family was able to get together and we had quite a party for christmas/new year.
i suppose i should tell you what zach got me. he bought me a really nice necklace & earring set. i also got some clothes, books, a survivor bracelet, a thera cane (a massage tool for self massage on knots & sore spots), candy, and baby stuff.
oh yeah... we are expecting our first baby april 5, 2012. we are having a boy. mostly likely to be named: kyan john smith.
now on to january 2012- pregnancy hasn't been bad. i haven't had morning sickness to any great lengths. i really have only gained 10 pounds so far. our doctor says all looks great. we only have a few more months until baby gets here. i am finding zach & i trade our excitement back and forth. i'll be excited and he will be freaked out ish. then i am really freaked out, and he is way excited.
work is getting a bit more difficult, but my baby bump isn't really that big. most people don't notice it until i say something or someone says something.
the hardest part is that i smell things that really aren't too noticeable to others. it got me in trouble at work. but whatever. i won't be there much longer. there is no incentive to go back to massage envy after the baby comes.
here's why: my boss is a major jerk. he says he has an open door policy, but won't really talk to you. he avoids being at work and gets mad when you call him at home. he makes the receptionists do the "dirty" work and turns the therapists against each other. most of my paychecks are not correct. they are short on hours, bonuses, or requests. it is a battle to get my boss to pay the difference. my paychecks have been off anywhere from $1.00 to $200.00
that is quite a bit of a difference. i did get a raise for christmas, but it doesn't help when the check isn't right to begin with. i have also had 2 paychecks bounce. that makes me question things. which also got me in trouble at work.
i have been handed other therapists cash tips, and when i ask which client it came from, i was given a name i hadn't worked on. not all the therapists ask what client the money came from. most just take it and don't say anything.
i have also been confused with another therapist. the person thought my name wasn't my name and would schedule appointments for the other person instead of me. i would also see tips up front for the person who i supposedly was when that person wasn't even working that shift. but because i am an honest person, i wouldn't take another therapists tip if their name was on it. i only take what has my name.
the building is always dirty. there is dust in all the rooms. the carpets have lint and dust all over them. the ventilation isn't that great, and smells linger in the rooms & halls. most of the equipment is breaking or is broken. the blankets on the tables are not always washed each day or week even. no one cares to clean. it isn't a given responsibility. therapists don't want to do it because we only get paid when we are giving massage. the receptionists don't want to do it because it takes too much time or they just don't want to do it. most follow the example of the boss. he sits at the computer all day when he is actually there and plays games. if the boss won't do it, why should we.
i probably won't even really go into the fact that you may or may not be sexually harassed while at work. the boss has wandering hands that will grab your butt, your shoulder, your back, or if he has a towel in his hands he will towel whip you. thankfully he has only touched my shoulder. i think word got out to him that if he ever touches my butt, i will put my knee in his groin and my fist in his face. he did towel whip me one day. it was while i was washing up after a session. i turned around to yell at him, but he had already run away laughing. it makes me sick that he would even think that it is ok to do that.
oh so i got in trouble at work. in fact it was kind of a write up. supposedly all of my coworkers are sick of listening to me say that it stinks and that my paychecks are off and that my clients are being told i am not available (when i really am). my boss wouldn't even listen to a word i had to say. so i just sat there and let him yell at me. he said, "if you were a mediocre or so-so of a therapist, i would fire you right now. you are free to go at anytime you want" that is seriously a direct quote. i almost did walk out right then. the only thing keeping me there is that i need a paycheck until baby comes.
so yeah, that's why i wouldn't go back to that place. i feel for my clients. they want me, but i'll be gone. some have asked if i will see them outside in my own private practice, but i can't really do that. it breaks my contract and that isn't such a good thing. at this point, i almost would take what clients will follow me, but most have the membership contract that they can't really break.
on happier news: zach got a second job! he got on with diamond ranch academy. it is a youth facility. sad news, his shift is on sundays all day, every sunday. good news, he will have ample opportunities to move up and grow. he actually applied monday and was given the job on tuesday. he started today. so zach has training today, tomorrow, and saturday. then he gets right into the job on sunday. he is still working the hp job, but now he will be at diamond ranch on sundays. it is defiantly a good and bad thing. i am so happy he got another job and i am sad that he will be gone on sundays. i am really hoping that our financial burdens will get easier with this 2nd job. well, i think we are all caught up. for now. and i am really hoping 2012 will be a great year. i know there will be lots of new opportunities. until next time then :)
september 2011- came and went with not too much but work going on. work is still work. boss still not a good boss. and that's about it.
october 2011- we moved back in with mom & dad (smith) at the end of the month. trying to stay and get ahead on bills. moving sucks. i don't like packing and all the stuff you can't pack until last minute and then figuring what needs to go into the storage unit and what needs to stay out. it wasn't fun at all. but we got it done. and then, the day before we moved out, the water heater broke. water went all over the hallway and caused quite a mess. we rented a rug doctor and used an outside hose to fill the machine to clean the carpets. hot water works so much better to clean, but with the water heater breaking, we did the best we could. halloween was fun to see all the kids in costumes. i didn't dress up, but i found out my boss sort of wanted us to.
he dressed up and let me just say, i don't ever want to see him like that again. it was creepy and disgusting. he wore a fake velvet suit. it was purple and had leopard looking collar. then he had his face painted pale and wore an afro black wig. it was not a good look. weirdo....
november 2011- thanksgiving was a lot of fun. i got to go out to colorado to see my family. zach was going to come, but then his work sprung last minute "you have to work or you won't have a job" crap on him. so he had to stay here & ended up going with kendra & golden's family & miah to golden coral.
colorado was a lot of fun. i went out sunday afternoon and got there just before it got dark. the drive wasn't bad. no snow, not really any traffic either. i almost made it on 1 tank of gas. brooke & chris hosted a pie night with all of their colorado friends, neighbors, and ward members. it was fun. i chased the boys around when they weren't playing with their friends. i cannot believe how big chan, wyatt, and carter are getting. chan is almost as tall as me now. almost. i know he will be taller than me, but it is just crazy to see how much they grow in just a year.
monday we just hung out. i took my massage table out with me since i owe peeps massage that would be coming and to brooke (whose house we all went to). we had fhe with ma & pa (snyder) and it was a lot of fun. i miss seeing everyone.
tuesday adam & cedar came. chan was stoked. he got to shoot guns with adam & cedar (on wednesday so there was light outside). i loved watching how much the boys love adam & cedar...esp cedar. they wouldn't hardly let them breathe. i can't wait to see the kids adam & cedar will have. they will be great parents. both are so good with kids.
wednesday my dad, mary, dj, and the girls got there. lily wasn't quite as open as izzy & maddy were. we got them warmed up though. it was fun to watch them all run around with the boys. all of the kids are getting so big.
essie couldn't make it out. it was the most tragic thing of thanksgiving.
i can't remember which day it was, but i introduced chandler to the game "guard the puddle" my grandpa used to play this game with us. brooke & i got quite a few good laughs from chandler. he didn't get the point of the game, and kept wanting to play again and again and again.
if you don't know this game, i will explain it.
you have 2 people. one has 2 spoons (1 in each hand). the other has a rag. you pour water into a puddle on the floor. the person with the rag tries to wipe up the puddle. the person with the spoons has to guard the puddle. the person with the rag then pulls the person with the spoons into the puddle. this makes the puddle soak into the spoon person's pants.
the first time i pulled chan through the puddle he just laughed and said, "oh nice one beanie! let's play again" that is when brooke and i started laughing really hard. chan started laughing really hard too. brooke asked him what he was laughing at, and he said he didn't know. this of course brought on a whole new round of laughing. it was pretty funny.
so i kinda counted how many massages i gave over the thanksgiving week... i think it was 9. one of them was on chandler. i about died laughing during his massage. he didn't quite understand it, so brooke and i explained it to him. we had him keep his underwear on because when brooke first said to take off all his clothes, he wasn't sure he wanted a massage anymore.
he is still little enough, i just used 2 big towels instead of having to pull out all new sheets and such. chandler was a little tense at first, but when i started to work, he relaxed. then he started to make "ooooo" and "oh yeah right there" and "ahhh" and "that feels so good" noises. i was having to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. chan then asked me, "do you have one of those thingys that massage your head?" to which i replied, "i use my fingers & hands to do that. would you like your head massaged?" i think that was his favorite part (his head massage) chan was so relaxed that he slept so good. in fact he slept so well that he had an accident in his bed. we know now that he can't have massage right before bed anymore.
thursday was a fantastic dinner. i didn't get to eat nearly as much as i wanted... mostly because i sadly got sick and threw up the day before. but it was all really yummy and i wanted to just binge on all the good food. we finally told my family about our news.
december 2011- it went by too fast. i was trying to be a sneaky wife and not let zach know what i was getting him for christmas and that i hadn't done any shopping for him... well that didn't work out. he knew i had already done my christmas shopping for him, and he pretty much guessed what i got him. it was a good christmas. all of the smith family was able to get together and we had quite a party for christmas/new year.
i suppose i should tell you what zach got me. he bought me a really nice necklace & earring set. i also got some clothes, books, a survivor bracelet, a thera cane (a massage tool for self massage on knots & sore spots), candy, and baby stuff.
oh yeah... we are expecting our first baby april 5, 2012. we are having a boy. mostly likely to be named: kyan john smith.
now on to january 2012- pregnancy hasn't been bad. i haven't had morning sickness to any great lengths. i really have only gained 10 pounds so far. our doctor says all looks great. we only have a few more months until baby gets here. i am finding zach & i trade our excitement back and forth. i'll be excited and he will be freaked out ish. then i am really freaked out, and he is way excited.
work is getting a bit more difficult, but my baby bump isn't really that big. most people don't notice it until i say something or someone says something.
the hardest part is that i smell things that really aren't too noticeable to others. it got me in trouble at work. but whatever. i won't be there much longer. there is no incentive to go back to massage envy after the baby comes.
here's why: my boss is a major jerk. he says he has an open door policy, but won't really talk to you. he avoids being at work and gets mad when you call him at home. he makes the receptionists do the "dirty" work and turns the therapists against each other. most of my paychecks are not correct. they are short on hours, bonuses, or requests. it is a battle to get my boss to pay the difference. my paychecks have been off anywhere from $1.00 to $200.00
that is quite a bit of a difference. i did get a raise for christmas, but it doesn't help when the check isn't right to begin with. i have also had 2 paychecks bounce. that makes me question things. which also got me in trouble at work.
i have been handed other therapists cash tips, and when i ask which client it came from, i was given a name i hadn't worked on. not all the therapists ask what client the money came from. most just take it and don't say anything.
i have also been confused with another therapist. the person thought my name wasn't my name and would schedule appointments for the other person instead of me. i would also see tips up front for the person who i supposedly was when that person wasn't even working that shift. but because i am an honest person, i wouldn't take another therapists tip if their name was on it. i only take what has my name.
the building is always dirty. there is dust in all the rooms. the carpets have lint and dust all over them. the ventilation isn't that great, and smells linger in the rooms & halls. most of the equipment is breaking or is broken. the blankets on the tables are not always washed each day or week even. no one cares to clean. it isn't a given responsibility. therapists don't want to do it because we only get paid when we are giving massage. the receptionists don't want to do it because it takes too much time or they just don't want to do it. most follow the example of the boss. he sits at the computer all day when he is actually there and plays games. if the boss won't do it, why should we.
i probably won't even really go into the fact that you may or may not be sexually harassed while at work. the boss has wandering hands that will grab your butt, your shoulder, your back, or if he has a towel in his hands he will towel whip you. thankfully he has only touched my shoulder. i think word got out to him that if he ever touches my butt, i will put my knee in his groin and my fist in his face. he did towel whip me one day. it was while i was washing up after a session. i turned around to yell at him, but he had already run away laughing. it makes me sick that he would even think that it is ok to do that.
oh so i got in trouble at work. in fact it was kind of a write up. supposedly all of my coworkers are sick of listening to me say that it stinks and that my paychecks are off and that my clients are being told i am not available (when i really am). my boss wouldn't even listen to a word i had to say. so i just sat there and let him yell at me. he said, "if you were a mediocre or so-so of a therapist, i would fire you right now. you are free to go at anytime you want" that is seriously a direct quote. i almost did walk out right then. the only thing keeping me there is that i need a paycheck until baby comes.
so yeah, that's why i wouldn't go back to that place. i feel for my clients. they want me, but i'll be gone. some have asked if i will see them outside in my own private practice, but i can't really do that. it breaks my contract and that isn't such a good thing. at this point, i almost would take what clients will follow me, but most have the membership contract that they can't really break.
on happier news: zach got a second job! he got on with diamond ranch academy. it is a youth facility. sad news, his shift is on sundays all day, every sunday. good news, he will have ample opportunities to move up and grow. he actually applied monday and was given the job on tuesday. he started today. so zach has training today, tomorrow, and saturday. then he gets right into the job on sunday. he is still working the hp job, but now he will be at diamond ranch on sundays. it is defiantly a good and bad thing. i am so happy he got another job and i am sad that he will be gone on sundays. i am really hoping that our financial burdens will get easier with this 2nd job. well, i think we are all caught up. for now. and i am really hoping 2012 will be a great year. i know there will be lots of new opportunities. until next time then :)
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