Friday night tragedies

i am just going to vent for a few minutes.... why do guys say yes, but have no intention of really following through with it? for the first time ever in my life....i was stood up. and it sucks! i can't figure out why. is something wrong with me? am i not pretty enough? smart enough? skinny enough? too smart? what? seriously what is wrong with me? i kept thinking perhaps he just forgot. but am i really so forgettable? then i thought maybe something happened to him while he was driving to my house. then he was 15 minutes late. no call, no text, no show. then a half hour. so i sent a text asking if i had perhaps mistakenly said the wrong time. no reply. i waited another 10 minutes and called. the phone rang 4 times and went to voice mail....so it was ignored. my friends were waiting for me because i was the one who had the food, and the ride. an hour late. hmm... maybe a cop or bystander silenced his phone? or maybe he just really doesn't want to go out with me. so why not just say no?! and save me the tears that are pouring out of my eyes. i finally decided to just go take the food over and let them have their date without me. no...they would not have it. so i became a 5th wheel. as i was driving to take the food, i got a text; sorry, someone's dad died and we are taking him out. i could only reply; ok. my friend read it when i finally got there and sent something back. and then i was crying again. what is wrong with boys? what is wrong with me? an hour and a half. and i wonder if i had not texted or called if i would even have got that. seriously! what is wrong with me? why can't they be honest with me? why tell me one thing and not mean it? do they like to see girls cry? do they like to make girls cry? i hate crying!!!! i do it way too much, and can't ever control it. i wish i could just be mad and feel better that way. instead i feel like i am worthless and i cry. is it really too much to ask for someone who will never lie to me? or break my heart when it gets so excited and then crushed? is having any expectations in anything worth it? is having a heart and caring worth it? or maybe it is all just in my head... cause once again...as i am typing this...i am crying. I hate this!!!