hot chocolate

first things first; my landlord did hear some of what was said saturday night. he talked to my roommate about it yesterday at work. i am so embarrassed! thankfully they are pretty laid back people and i didn't say anything too horrifying. now on to my story today;
i finally got some guts and asked jay to join me after work for hot chocolate. i was still chicken and asked him over text since i had already left work and he was still there for at least another hour. but hey, he said yes. i got caramel spiced apple and he got a signature hot chocolate. we talked. okay really mostly i talked, since i always am just talking. but he talked too. things are good between us. i am alright where we are now. jay brought up a lot of good points, and i totally understand them. it is really hard to have a work relationship. everyone will see him as the bad guy if anything wrong happens. he got so many mean looks at work that following monday. i felt awful that people were judging him. what was a simple misunderstanding between us turned into a huge work drama that everyone had to jump into. poor guy doesn't need that. jay is an incredible person with a huge heart. whatever girl wins his heart will be a queen. i wish i could say it were me, but then i would be lying. maybe i do have a special place in his heart, but while we are both employed at the same place, nothing more than friendship can happen. i would rather have jay as my friend than not have him in my life at all. he is truly a remarkable man. a little shy at the start, but when you get to know what's there is a rare gem, a gentleman. perhaps in the future things will turn out differently. i sure don't know. what i do know is that i am lucky that he is my friend. no matter what happens, i will be as much as a friend to him as he is for me.